Weather dependent
It’s been a wet and windy spring so far and I have all these jobs lined up. The problem with working on projects for boats is multifaceted with the number one issue being the weather. I often have to make patterns for the new or replacement items that customers are requesting to be fabricated which means it can’t be windy or wet when I make them because boats live outside. I can plan and schedule but still my work is weather dependent. No matter how good my intentions are for completing certain big projects by the requested deadlines, I have to be flexible and wait for dry calm days to complete certain tasks before I can move to the next steps. It’s frustrating at times. It’s another wet one today so I’ll be working inside again on a project that I was able to pattern for when the sun was shining. I’m grateful that my customers understand because even using their boats is often weather dependent!
WritinG Wagon
I fell off the writing wagon…
Progress on my books has stalled (again) as boating and boat work and sewing season has officially begun. I’m in deep this year with commitments to customers and to my own little pocket yacht.
There’s so many things to do and so little time to do them all. And then there’s self-care too. Why does self-care take so much effort? Exercise and fresh air are self care practices I don’t take lightly as you can see and as they say you gotta make hay (play) when the sun is shining. But seriously, brushing and flossing and showering and eating and sleeping takes so much time! I have no idea how people have time to do their hair and makeup too! Yikes- good thing I don’t wear makeup and cut all my hair off! Saving more time, Go, go, go…. Lol.
Can you believe the official start of spring just a few days away?
I’m excited for sunshine but March is halfway gone, I best get back to work now then. Writing more will have to wait.
Dental Anxiety
This post was a draft I started December 4th, 2021 and it’s now over 2 years later and I’m finishing it. I hope it’s helpful to someone somehow.
Though I appear calm on the outside most of the time I struggle with anxiety frequently. I often wake up in the middle of the night with my heart racing worrying about various items. Recently I have been freaked out about my teeth. Being told years ago conflicting information from three different dentists and being a diy research fanatic I’ve stayed away from the dentist until recently when my front teeth started getting a gap between them.
Diligently researching biological dentists in the area that I thought would be compatible with my healthy philosophies and holistic ways I settled on a visit to Ecologic Dentistry in Bonney Lake. After reading that they use ozone water instead of traditional potential toxic options I scheduled an appointment. The dentist said she would take minimal x-rays however I walked out of there with a very expensive 360° panorama photo of my skull. Not only that, a recommended $4000+ estimate for future invasive dental work.
Needless to say I was very disappointed. Actually, I was almost in tears when I left the office. I suppose I expected a more holistic approach to help cure my dental worries. They were very nice people, don’t get me wrong, it’s just that they only wanted to treat the surface issues like most other conventional dentists. Which means grinding back damaged teeth and filling in the cavities with various “materials” that I couldn’t seem to get disclosed. They said I could have a blood test or muscle testing for compatibility of possible filling “materials” for extra $$$ however I still didn’t get an answer to what those materials were. Plastic? Epoxy? Porcelain? I was hoping for some clue but no, I got a general “materials” reference.
They also wanted to peel back my gums and scrap the teeth below the surface in sections. You sign a waiver for the numbing agent they use in case it destroys your taste or doesn’t wear off. And the process sounds painfully invasive but the real catch is that it requires maintaining. My understanding of bacteria in the mouth is that they grow back quickly and have to be removed repeatedly. The logical part of my brain just screams at me that there has to be a permanent remedy rather than just treating the symptoms.
I ignored my logical brain and now after multiple dentists and multiple treatments and huge hits to my bank account (since I don’t have dental insurance), I decided to finish this post.
I had my first deep cleanings at Ecologic Dentistry in Bonney Lake- they numbed half my mouth in two different sessions and did the recommended scaling and root planing. I could feel the improvements and my breath smelled way better but I still had some issues. I decided to get a couple cavities filled which once again did not go well. Granted the mouth is a difficult place to work and the problem areas are way back in my molars.
The severe pain I don’t wish to recall, the grinding I wish to forget and the one filled spot still catches stuff and shreds my floss. They offered to attempt to repair/fix it for free but without any guarantees- meaning I would have to go thru the whole insanely painful process again and it could turn out with the same result. No thank you. I decided to find another dentist and get a second opinion.
Long story short I went to another dentist in the meantime but he just wanted to take out my wisdom teeth. No thank you. Next dentist please.
Ecologic Dentistry did a good job according to the next dentist (Skagit Valley Dentistry- DR. Janette Carroll) who told me with their treatment I could re-grow my jawbone. They used a camera to see under the gums and did another deep cleaning to make sure nothing was missed since traditional root planing is done “blind”- by the feel of the hygienist.
Another huge hit to my bank account for the camera cleaning and protein deposit and maintenance treatments. Then another poor filling job and then another price increase for cleaning/maintenance without warning from the Skagit dentist and I just cancelled my next appointment with them.
Next I’m going to try another conventional dentist- it’s who my Husband has been going to for years. All I should need now is maintenance cleanings and their pricing seems fair (way less than Skagit) and transparent. I’m going to go with an open mind but sheesh this whole thing has given me multiple headaches and toothaches.
I’m dedicated to health and healing so I know the mouth is an integral part of whole body wellness. I just want to be healthy and have good teeth and fresh breath. This has been a journey I wouldn’t wish on anyone. I now have permanent gaps between my front teeth on the upper and on the lower- right in the middle. Supposedly gaps are a sign of luck and I’m hoping my luck with dentists is about to change.
The deep cleanings changed my mouth significantly. I now brush and floss and water-jet daily. I used microcrystalline hydroxyapatite tooth powder and Orawellness healthymouth essential oils. If you want a great DIY resource center for oral health I highly recommend Orawellness. Their products have helped me maintain my mouth after all the hard cleaning work.
If you see me smile, which I do a lot usually, just please understand that I’m a bit self conscious about my new Tooth gaps and my now very expensive teeth. I’ve invested a lot because it’s a health thing but man, I would never wish this experience on anyone.
Hail Yeah
It was just hailing hard outside here in Bellingham with the distinct sound of thousands of tiny ice balls hitting the windows. It is still winter here for sure but the promise of Spring is just around the corner and I’m excited about it. This is just a quick post because I have to get back to sewing a Gucci style custom Highfield Dinghy cover. I’ll try to share a picture when its done.
Balance seeking
It’s really easy to multitask but it’s also really easy to hyper focus so I flip flop from one to the other. When I have a fully booked sewing project schedule I tend to focus to the point where everything else gets pushed aside. Things like writing. Yet in knowing this I’m seeking to find a better balance.
I pushed and pulled so many staples recently that my hands hurt. Instead of taking that job in sections I hyper focused until all the stapling was done. Before I continue on with the other tedious side of the project I’m taking a little time to write. But then when I write I also find that before I know it an hour has passed and writing is not billable work. I enjoy it but it takes so much time so then I beat myself up over wasting time with it.
Then something else like my stomach tells me it’s time to switch tasks and take time to make something to eat. I finished my coffee while writing and need to get moving on other tasks but first I must feed myself. Which also sometimes feels like a time consuming waste of time but I know that health is vital to doing anything else well so I take the time to fix healthy food rather than grab something quick and processed.
Such is life, an inner battle of compromise and understanding while knowing or learning and remembering that shifting a mindset is necessary for inner peace and productivity. And health. There is no simple straightforward answer, only compromise and compassion for being human is a complex task in itself.
The first week of February has flown by so far and I wish you all a wonderful rest of this month as time marches onwards!
ReadinG my Diary again eh?
I know I have a weird sense of humor but I’m sure some of you totally get it. And possibly enjoy reading this blog💓🤓.
Anyway, it’s the last day of January and I was just wondering how many people are super excited for February. I was actually thinking about the first time that I stopped drinking for a month- dry January I think it’s called. I remember really looking forward to February but also feeling a bit odd about breaking that non-alcohol streak. I also recall how easy it was to slip back into that half a bottle of wine every night habit that following February.
Now I can hardly believe it’s been over 7 years since I stopped drinking and how much my life has and hasn’t changed. I’m sure I’m healthier for abstaining but sometimes I sure do miss the social aspect of having alcohol in my life. These days I get a buzz from Kombucha and wonder how I ever took so many shots of tequila yet could still walk and talk. Regardless I’m happy January is over for other reasons.
I’m ready for more daylight and warmer days. Also ready for the shift that comes with each month’s change. Some months just seem to flow smoother than others and January was a bit of a slog. I filed and paid my City and State business taxes tonight and I’m super glad to have that done. Being an annual filer means I have to be diligent about keeping track because the years seem to keep going by faster and faster. I’ll leave all that un-fun stuff in January.
I also have a ton of sewing projects to do. I have a bunch of great customers and friends. And I have big plans for the rest of this year. Although my 1000 words per day goal slipped a bit I’m still plugging away and my intentions for continuing writing are good. 1000 per day 3x per weeks seems more reasonable now. I can do this.
It’s almost midnight so I’m going to hit the publish button on this and start February fresh. Wishing you a wonderful 2nd month of 2023!
1000 Words
A view of my hometown from a bike ride on the waterfront last Tuesday. It was a gorgeous day in Bellingham!
Yes, I have a very full schedule. The demand for custom canvas and upholstery work is quite high. I am grateful for the work and thankful to have a successful business but as I may have said before sometime here somewhere that it is tricky being a one-human show. I wear all the hats and accounting is not my strong suit. Being that 2022 just ended I’m trying to get all my paperwork organized and tax stuff lined up. This is one of my least favorite things.
Also being a new year and realizing that I’m almost 40 years old means I am more determined to set aside time to write this year. I have an accountability buddy lined up and we have agreed to write at least 500-1000 words per day, 6 days a week. My ultimate goal in this agreement is to finish some of my books this year.
I currently have several 1/3 to 1/2 way finished potential books. I’m even printing out a hard copy of my other private journal that I have been keeping since 2016 which has almost 30,000 words. I started a new digital Journal this year because, yes, I do keep some of my wild thoughts private however I’ve even considered publishing the whole thing raw. It would be fascinating and embarrassing yet I think if someone else were to do such a thing I would probably want to read it too.
Ugh, the printer is struggling, so much for double sided printing. Wow, that was a big paper jam. Such is life, always throwing us those curveballs and distractions but I am determined to focus. After I finish this blog post which will fulfill my per day word count goal, I plan to go do some yoga, take a shower, make some tea and then read a book in bed.
By the way, the strangest thing has happened. Since I returned from my recent adventure I have stopped drinking coffee. It’s been over a week and I’m surprised to say I have been sleeping better and waking up around 7am every morning. I wonder if it’s a coincidence or a fluke but time will tell. Either way, better sleep means a clearer mind and more time to be productive. I have been getting a lot done since I returned home and remain coffee free. We shall see how long it lasts. I have always wanted to be a morning person, maybe my time has come?
Anyway, I was motivated to share more of my sea story and pictures too however a picture problem is arising from trying to download my iPhone photo’s to the computer. I attempted to download from the cloud earlier instead but they all got jumbled and I became frustrated enough to jump to the next task while I try to come up with a better way. I take far too many pictures and videos which wouldn’t be an issue if I were more organized and efficient when it comes to storing and sharing them. Just another thing I resolve to get better at. On to the next task for now but I will share more later.
UnpubLIshed Drafts
I just realized that I have quite a few unpublished blog posts that I never quite finished. Instead of editing them and sharing I shall start fresh and publish immediately. It’s a New Year and we are solidly into January.
I just got home from a short trip down the Southern California coast on my friend’s Sailboat. I was one of four crew she hoped to take all the way down to La Paz Mexico. I jumped ship in San Diego and flew home for a multitude of reasons- number one being that I just don’t have that much time to spare.
I will share more later. It was quite the adventure!
Amazing
And then sometimes I want to just be a photographer! I went out and took photos of the Start of Round the County a week ago from yesterday. Not only did I not want to freeze my butt off by doing the race, I didn’t have the time to commit to the full two-day event. Thankfully I have an awesome friend in Anacortes with a beautiful powerboat who took us out to take pictures of the start! I have missed racing in this event that I used to take part in for 10 years in a row so it was lovely to at least witness firsthand the excitement of Saturday morning. It was also a fabulous sunny day!
It recently has come to my attention multiple times that you are actually reading my diary/journal/blog/website! I have to admit I’m a little embarrassed to know that people (you included) are actually exploring my website and reading my words. Its great, don’t get me wrong, Thank You for being here and reading. However, it had always felt safe to assume that I was putting all of this into the ocean of the internet as but one tiny droplet of information and now I feel like a visible wave! How vulnerable I feel to know that you now know some of my personal innermost thoughts and feelings.
Does this mean I should stop oversharing?
I am running a business after-all but I am also my business so therefore you should know who you’re dealing with right? All my flaws and imperfections plus opinions and ideas laid out on the table for all who want to look can see. A little scary, I guess I had my head in the sand sort of when sharing here.
Now that my eyes are open maybe I shall curate my content a little bit more? Like the photo below, I probably should post the new pictures of the work that was just completed on Icon. However the perfectionist in me thinks that the images I took of the work are not good enough. There is still a lot of other work happening in and on the yacht and therefore I don’t feel appropriate sharing images yet before she is complete and clean. I have good intentions to share them later. Time flies and my intentions although good often can’t keep up with the pace of life. I’m doing the best I can.
Thanks for understanding and Thanks for reading. Time for me to get back to the sewing room!
A very old picture of me at the helm of Icon (a Perry Designed 65' Sloop cruiser/racer) on a delivery.
I used to co-manage the Icon program and was a vital member of the racing team. I love sailing and I very recently completed a bunch of canvas work for this beautiful yacht as the owner is planning on cruising her again after an almost 10 year hiatus.
Icon was for sale for a time and if I had had the money I would have purchased her in a heartbeat.
7 yeArs
It’s been 7 years since I pretty much hit the reset button on my life and at the same time I stopped drinking alcohol. A culmination of overwhelming emotions and scenarios led me to drastically change everything.
From the outside looking in- it appeared as if my life was perfect up until that moment. I had all the items on the list for the American Dream. Marriage, Successful Business, Nice House, Dog, Hot Tub, Boats and a close group of Friends.
I had also been drinking heavily, daily and as we are surrounded by a society that enables this behavior it seemed I was a very functional Alcoholic. I stopped drinking for a Month in January one year but I couldn’t stay sober in the life I was living. Alcohol was a crutch and a coping mechanism and I was no good at moderation. (Let’s just say I had a very high tolerance and as a drinker with the sailing addiction it fit like a glove.)
Looking back now it’s crazy to consider the sequence of events that led me to the point where I chose to change my life and I can hardly believe it’s been 7 years. I know I am much healthier without the alcohol factor but I am still me. Honestly I thought that by hitting that reset button that all my dreams would come true however I just jumped into a different version of reality. A life with different hard lessons to learn.
7 years later I have a successful business, a boat, a husband and a close group of friends again ( I have yet to regain a dog, house and hot tub). However I know those are mostly just material things. My coping mechanisms may be healthier but I still have to find ways to deal with the circumstances of my life. It’s challenging to be human. And I don’t talk about sobriety much because it’s an uncomfortable topic for most of us.
I don’t judge anyone who is or isn’t good at moderation. We all have to make the choices that work for us and I am no better or worse for choosing not to drink. If anything I understand completely the love of alcohol and how it can make life temporarily feel more bearable. I have to admit the main reason I have probably stayed sober is because my husband is sober too. It would be tricky to be in a committed relationship where one partner does and the other doesn’t drink. (Kudos to anyone who can or does this- you are stronger than me!)
I am grateful for the circumstances that help me to stay sober. I am also grateful for the health factors from abstaining- I no longer struggle with weight gain, I don’t have hangovers and not only that I’ve saved a ton of money- alcohol is expensive!
It’s scary to share all this but I think it’s important. Some people joke about the 7 year itch in marriage. Is there such a thing with sobriety? Lol.
Harvest Moon
It’s midnight as I write this. I would be one to agree with the concept that the moon has a strong effect on much more than all the water it moves with the tides.
I’ve neglected my website and blogs once again yet once again change is in the air and so are my good intentions… and I am intent on taking real action.
I painted one of my favorite paintings recently because I had the opportunity to display my art again at the Bellingham Cordata Community Food Co-op. I love the co-op and I love to paint so it’s a perfect pairing. Food and inspiration to make more art. It’s a good start. Now I’m committed to taking my art further again.
In fact, I just cut off my braid. Yes, it’s a full moon. Yes you heard it here first or possibly last? But my hair was down to my knees and I decided that I don’t need to grow it down to the ground again. It’s a lot of work to maintain long hair and though I love it, I want to spend my time on other things. And there are oh so many things. Sewing work included. Plus my hair grows fast and so it will grow back. With the way time flies it will be back down my back in no time. And I will turn my braid into art this time. Shadowbox and human hair 4-strand rope- little weird but kinda cool… like the Victorians used to do.
For now, here is my moonlight mood… letting go of all the tedious stuff that no longer serves me. I choose to release my fears and embrace new experiences. Shifting my focus to Fall it is time to let go of summer however reluctant I have been for summer to linger, The equinox arrives in 12 days. The nights have been getting noticeably longer and I know that we need the cool wet weather of Autumn to restore the pacific Nw greens.
And I’ll be teaching yoga more regularly too, getting my yin certification now. It’s good for me to have accountability in finding stillness. Yoga is a practice and practice I’ll shall do. If you want to join me you can find me Mondays at the Whatcom family Y at 5:30.
And writing, I do badly need to keep writing, here, there and everywhere… I have books I still would adore to finish and publish and share. So many tings so lil time…. especially when sleep is so important and that I must now do.
Thank you for reading this and for accepting me as the imperfect good intentioned eccentric seamstress artist that I am. And thanks for being you too!