Artificial Intelligence

At first I was afraid to use AI tools now I am embracing it. The best way to face ones fear is to look it straight in the AI and embrace it? Right now I am sitting in my newly revamped office space where its a little chilly but the plants and lights make it more inviting. I am typing on my cheap 1TB HP laptop that I bought from Costco mainly to store photos on since I take so damn many pictures all the time and don’t want to keep them in the cloud. I am typing this as the Photosync app just crashed with the transfer. Attempt #2.

As usual I am multi-tasking and I just had a spam call which is probably what crashed the photo transfer. I was in the middle of trying to use ChatGPT to create a new logo for my author website when I got frustrated because it wasn’t coming up with what I could see in my minds eye. So I will go to photoshop later and do it the hard way.

I spent the morning using ChatGPT the free version to help me write blurbs for the Greater Bellingham Running Club gazette that I assemble every month around the 15th as a volunteer for the club. AI is not perfect and it took more time but at the same time saved time while creating better content. It’s like having a really smart buddy who is always ready to brainstorm and give feedback on any topic. I am learning to love it and rely on it as a useful tool.

I also see it’s flaws and why humans, especially creative minded people are essential to using it properly. My brain often goes at high speeds and AI seems to easily exceed my normal processing mode. I read fast and type quickly but AI does it faster. All I have to do is edit which is often the trickiest part anyway.

Oh and I learned that I should be writing these blog posts in a different program and copying and pasting them into Squarespace instead so I always have a hard copy for the future. Squarespace doesn’t allow an easy download of all content. Today is not the day for me to switch over even though it should be. Next time I’ll remember and start there. For now I’ll copy and paste elsewhere after.

Offloading more photos via photosync now… making space on my iPhone11 so I can maybe download the latest update that I have been avoiding. What I really wanted to do before I started all of this was just to lay down and take a nap. I’m pushing thru… the other work I have to do is too physical so I decided computer and administrative work was the way to go. I sub-taught two yoga classes the last two mornings and I’ll be teaching my normal yin yoga class tonight- thank goodness it’s Yin! I’m not sure why I am so tired other than I have been trying to do too many things.

If only I had an AI duplicate of myself, with an airdrop feature for all my thoughts and to-do lists plus skills but without the emotional component. Maybe it’s Mercury in retrograde or just being an empath that makes it so challenging to function when my system feels overloaded? I do my best work when my mind is clear and writing helps to clean the mental and emotional clutter. Maybe I’ll be able to get some physical work done after this? No, because I’m still in my pajamas under my down pants at 3:30pm and I have to get dressed before I leave the house.

The time just keeps flying by. At least the photos are syncing so I’ll have more room on my device. DId I mention that today is a Monday which also often feels a bit Manic even though I work weekends. It’s probably the Yin yoga that makes me feel sane the rest of the week.

Back to the topic of this Diary entry er Blog post thing, I am building a new website and AI already gave me the layout, framework and suggestions for how to make it support my next career as an Author. I will keep sewing because apparently people and AI say that writers don’t make enough money to make a living. Sigh… but isn’t life a catch 22 and we have to believe it to see it? I just need a few viral videos, a viral book and some luck right? I still want to choose to think that anything is possible, especially with the new AI tools at hand.

Okay, I have rambled on long enough while transferring photos- it has to be babysat. I need many upgrades and organization in my life, I am working on them as I fight the overwhelm that has arrived due to not only overcommitting to too much sewing work and having author dreams but being in a marriage where my husband doesn’t trust me so I feel like I am walking on eggshells all the time trying to avoid triggering his insecurities. He would (will?) probably be horrified to read this as well. Is it going to trigger another mood swing? It’s exhausting to even think about it. He’d probably be happy that I mention having a husband but upset that I mention it’s so challenging to be married to someone for 7 years and have him still doubt my love and faithfulness. We’re working on it. And I need to go get dressed and ready to go.

If you read this leave a comment and tell me what you think? Sign up to my newsletter too please, I think I put it under my contact page. Or not. It’s okay. I’'ll keep doing this thing anyway. Hope you have a wonderfull week!

Photo by @MommaGoatPhotos

1000 Words

A view of my hometown from a bike ride on the waterfront last Tuesday. It was a gorgeous day in Bellingham!

Yes, I have a very full schedule. The demand for custom canvas and upholstery work is quite high. I am grateful for the work and thankful to have a successful business but as I may have said before sometime here somewhere that it is tricky being a one-human show. I wear all the hats and accounting is not my strong suit. Being that 2022 just ended I’m trying to get all my paperwork organized and tax stuff lined up. This is one of my least favorite things. 

Also being a new year and realizing that I’m almost 40 years old means I am more determined to set aside time to write this year. I have an accountability buddy lined up and we have agreed to write at least 500-1000 words per day, 6 days a week. My ultimate goal in this agreement is to finish some of my books this year. 

I currently have several 1/3 to 1/2 way finished potential books. I’m even printing out a hard copy of my other private journal that I have been keeping since 2016 which has almost 30,000 words. I started a new digital Journal this year because, yes, I do keep some of my wild thoughts private however I’ve even considered publishing the whole thing raw. It would be fascinating and embarrassing yet I think if someone else were to do such a thing I would probably want to read it too.

Ugh, the printer is struggling, so much for double sided printing. Wow, that was a big paper jam. Such is life, always throwing us those curveballs and distractions but I am determined to focus. After I finish this blog post which will fulfill my per day word count goal, I plan to go do some yoga, take a shower, make some tea and then read a book in bed. 

By the way, the strangest thing has happened. Since I returned from my recent adventure I have stopped drinking coffee. It’s been over a week and I’m surprised to say I have been sleeping better and waking up around 7am every morning. I wonder if it’s a coincidence or a fluke but time will tell. Either way, better sleep means a clearer mind and more time to be productive. I have been getting a lot done since I returned home and remain coffee free. We shall see how long it lasts. I have always wanted to be a morning person, maybe my time has come?

Anyway, I was motivated to share more of my sea story and pictures too however a picture problem is arising from trying to download my iPhone photo’s to the computer. I attempted to download from the cloud earlier instead but they all got jumbled and I became frustrated enough to jump to the next task while I try to come up with a better way. I take far too many pictures and videos which wouldn’t be an issue if I were more organized and efficient when it comes to storing and sharing them. Just another thing I resolve to get better at. On to the next task for now but I will share more later.

Day Dreams

I’ve been day dreaming and painting again too! And still sewing up a storm. And teaching yoga!

Mixing work and play. Summer is here!

New Business Venture

https://www.purelyspirit.com/ This is so exciting for me! And my goodness it’s just another thing on my list of loves and to-dos but I have major help with this one thanks to my friend and new business partner Charles Crooks . Charles is super talented in energy work, tarot and much more and he is currently also the master of all the the Social Media for Purely Spirit! I have been blogging on the PS website and working on the details for our first in-person workshop. Please check him out and check out the new website then let me know in the comments what you think. Thank you!

Earth Day 2020

Every day really is Earth Day, a day to celebrate this planet that we call home. It’s crazy to think how much we take it for granted, this life we have here on Earth. The whole Covid-19 pandemic has really brought it home how much we take a lot of aspects of our lives for granted. Don’t it always seem to go, you don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone? Yes, indeed. Unfortunately, it appears we have all needed a little reminder to appreciate what we had. Now that it’s gone we get the chance to change our ways as we walk into a new future.

The world has changed in many ways the past few months. I wonder why we all can’t just stay home more often. Less traffic, less pollution, less stress… unless theres no income, but then why do we have to work so hard to make money all the time only to have no time to enjoy life?

The system is broken and we have to fix it somehow so that all people have all their basic needs taken care of first. No more of this paycheck to paycheck living on a thread kind of crap. Barely making ends meet is a terrible way to live. Let us find ways to make homeless, hungry and sickness extinct.

Seriously, it appears that the proverbial shit has actually hit the fan. Everything was affected so fast by the virus that it’s painful to watch. At the same time a big shift is occurring. People everywhere can no longer ignore how intimately connected all life on earth is. That is huge!!!

No matter how much we want to go back to business as usual it’s impossible for most of us to stick our heads back in the sand after seeing how rapidly we can change and adapt when it’s a matter of life or death. Most of us want to live. Most of us have health and happiness as a top priority in life yet fall far short of health and happiness because we run full speed on the hamster wheel with no time to breathe.

Even I have a hard time finding time to meditate. I always feel as if theres something I should be doing to be a productive member of society/my family and everybody always has an expectation for how they would like me to spend my time (and the money I don’t really even have). I’m fortunate to be in a situation where my basic needs are met (and often exceeded with lots of chocolate) but still I find my stress levels going thru the roof far too often. It is crazy that life has come to be this way. Until now there didn’t appear to be a way out.

But the hamster wheel has stopped, abruptly. Now the wheels in our heads and hearts are spinning with questions. Where do we go from here? We need to eat, we need to sleep, we need shelter and we are finding that we also need connection and community. Humans, even the ones who claim to be hermits and introverts when they really look deep into their hearts, realize, that without other humans to share stuff with, life doesn’t make much sense and it’s much more difficult. Difficult in different ways. We need each other and we need the earth and we need all of it to be healthy so we can be happy. Some may say happiness is over-rated but I would strongly disagree.

We are not here to suffer. We are here to expand our capacity for creation, understanding and love. We deserve to feel the full extent of Joy that it means to be alive on this magical planet spinning thru a vast endless universe of space. Life doesn’t have to be so hard, but right now it is. Partially because of a series of choices that were made for us before we knew we had a choice. We may still think it is not an option to choose differently than we did before but at what expense? What’s it all worth in the end? Why do you think you exist at all?

Tell me your creation story in the comments, please.

I want to know what you think that this life is about.

What is the meaning of life?

How did we get here and what is our purpose for being alive?

Where do we go from here?

Thank you.

Poetress

Write what?

Do I have the right?

Is it wrong?

We’re do I belong?

In a never ending song

The music flows

It goes and goes

On and on forever more

Oh I would so adore

Peace of mind

The way to find

A simple life

With less strife

And less stress

It’s such a mess

So I wish upon a date

To alter my fate 

To change my destiny

Tired of testing me

I want to be free

I want to see 

Clearly the path

While I soak in a bath

Of hot spring water

Gaia makes it hotter

The healing gift

I feel the lift

But oh I wish

Like a fish 

To swim 

On a whim 

Abundant and secure

Less concern to endure

Financial freedom to be

The artist that is me

This spirit that is wild

Embracing my inner child

Living in peace

Watching the geese

Or the clouds go by

As I sigh

Relief

Belief

Change them as I do

Wanting to be true

Eco-friendly and sustainable

Health easily maintainable

For all of us here

With no need to fear

Take care of all needs

Pull out the weeds

Share this space

This beautiful place

Earth is our home

Wherever we may roam

(Found this poem I wrote awhile back on my phone but was stored in the cloud and had the urge to share here just now. Wow.)

Happy Love Day

It’s another wildly commercialized holiday today and we get to choose whether or not to celebrate it. In my humble opinion we should choose to celebrate every single day! Life is short so why not celebrate it as much as we can and focus on the love? It doesn’t have to be only on holidays however if you feel you need an excuse to show and/or tell someone you love them then today is the day to do it.

The history of “Valentine’s Day”, like so many of the holiday’s we celebrate, is dark and murky. It’s hard to say exactly how it originated and the truth could possibly be a lie anyway. Why not just take it for what it has become as a day for love? There is no time like the present and the beauty of being human is that we get to assign whatever personal meaning we want to our own experiences.

We also tend to prove ourselves right whether we know it or not. What stories have you told yourself about this “Holiday” and how do those stories affect the way you feel? Is it possible you could change those stories to something else that makes you feel different- good or bad? Shift your focus maybe, from one bad experience to one good one or from what you don’t want to what you actually do want.

I used to tell myself that “Valentine’s Day” sucks. I held on to the memories I had of unfulfilled hopes for romance and expectations from partners that left me with feelings of general disappointment. Many times all I felt was sadness on a holiday that is supposed to be full of love.

One thing I have learned the hard way for sure, is how to love myself enough that all that other shit doesn’t matter. I proved myself right long enough to know that I don’t want to repeat that story anymore. I’ve had enough of the personal suffering from expecting to be disappointed. I choose to expect that today is another day and Love is always something worth celebrating. I don’t need chocolates or roses or sparkly gifts but I love them and it’s okay to love those things too so long as they don’t determine my happiness level.

So I wish you a very Happy Love Day today!

Cedar Tree Wedgie

Here I am wedged between tall dreams, the scent of sacred cedar lingers in my memory.

I finished reading Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert last night and had a revelation!

Thanks Elizabeth!

The words struck me like giant hail balls and I said Hail YES to the idea that I am destined to create regardless of the outcome. I don’t do the things I do because I want to make money or gain recognition, (well sometimes I do because it seems I still need money to survive in this world these days) I make things because I have to or I will go insane. As a creative person I literally have to write and paint and hoop and make videos and create things to share with the world.

I have to dispel the energy that the muses of the unseen world hurl at me on a daily basis. It’s part of being psychic, I can’t ignore the ideas that are constantly vying for my attention!

Besides, there already seems to be enough darkness in the world and I want to make it lighter. I want to celebrate the beauty and the joy. I want to focus on what is good and what is going right.

In fact I have to focus on the bright side or I may just cease to exist. Some people call people like me light-workers and it is indeed a challenging path to walk whether or not we choose to be defined by this so-called new age terminology. I can’t help but create things. I can’t help but focus on that which I want to see in the world. I don’t need recognition, I just need freedom. Freedom to do what inspires me to be alive. How else am I going to be able to spend my time? What else is worth living for if not art, creations and the beauty of nature?

Perfect Mirror

This blog is my personal musings. Today I was just thinking about how my current partner, the guy I consider the literal "Man of my dreams", is seriously a perfect mirror for me. This is one of those "Twin Flame" relationships that are beyond comprehension at times. I'm not sure about most of our other lifetimes together however I'm sure that we've been working on our relationship since the beginning of time. I knew it when I first saw him but I didn't know what it was exactly. 

I suppose having a perfect mirror that reflects our deepest fears as well as the beauty of our soul is the best way to evolve on many levels. Which also means highly challenging and not for the faint of heart. When we choose this type of relationship experience it's usually because it's the only way for us to get beyond ourselves in this seemingly concrete and physical world.

Having a perfect counterpart show us the things we have to work on within ourselves with a reflection from outside ourself being something we can not easily ignore. I wouldn't change it for the world and the fact is that knowing what kind of relationship this is, is helpful.

The awareness that I have of the nature of "Twin Flame" relationships makes it easier to understand why certain bits are the way they are. It also helps me to attempt to deal with my own fears and insecurities rather than ignore them because he most beautiful part of this type of relationship is that when we heal within ourself it usually is soon reflected in our partner. For me that is even more of a motivator to do the inner work necessary to move forward and grow.

Where is the line?

The boundary line between destiny and manifestation is obscure. As a clairvoyant I can still be in denial. There are things I know that I resist. Things I want to believe but still doubt. The best way to predict the future is to create it however it seems ones ability to create is limited by certain factors outside of ones control. There is luck involved. There is some form of greater awareness directing parts of each and every life to fulfill some sort of divine design. How? What? Why? Where is the guidebook and the rules? 

I didn't get what I was hoping for and I am doing my best to stay positive, trying to believe there is something better in store for me but what? I bit off all of my fingernails tonight. I had thought I had finally managed to stop for good, my nails were nice and long, then, within 4 minutes they were all gone. It does make it easier to type. Sigh... what am I supposed to do now? The signs keep saying one thing, my intuition keeps confirming and my brain keeps saying WTF while my ego desperately wants to knock me down and kick my ass. Honestly, I'm in a strange space...

Regardless, it's time to get to work. I have a large, beautiful upholstery project to finish and then books to finish and self-publish. I even finally listened to another song I wrote, (well, I recorded it in a moment of inspiration) and I think it's worth writing down and learning. I gotta keep moving forward. I know I am still so blessed but this not getting the book deal with Hayhouse has messed with my head. Another valuable lesson to learn I'm sure. Either way this may be the last daily blog post for awhile. I have to spend time on the projects that will provide some income so I can keep doing all these fabulous things I love.

Anyway, I'm done streaking for now. I finished all of the French Lessons on Duolingo and that means I've written 92 blog posts in the last 92 days (including the one after midnight- I wrote another that morning to make up for it.) This is quite an accomplishment I think and I know some day everything else will make more sense to me. Hindsight is something else I will have to look forward to. For now I'll end this 92nd blog post with Doreen Virtues "Angel Numbers 101" description of the number 92 because I just wrote it three times and it hit me I should look it up. Here's what it says: "As you keep the faith that everything is unfolding perfectly with your Divine life purpose, you more clearly see and understand the steps that are best for you to take."

Thanks Doreen.

I'll do my best to keep the faith.

Prayer

As I fall asleep tonight I will be saying many prayers, one of which I believe may be vital to the future I wish to create. I’ve already asked the powers that Be to help me believe it so I can see it. I pray for an olive branch, a big sign to inspire to me to keep writing, a clear pathway to illuminate this spiritual mission I’ve embarked upon in this life time.  All I need to see is the next few steps, I’ve been waiting, trying not to hold my breath. Tomorrow is the day HayHouse will announce the chosen ones for the Maui writers workshop and I pray I am one. 

Part of my loyal and creative nature loves inspiration that comes from helping people. I find the most joy in doing endevours that use my natural talents knowing they will directly benefit other people. I enjoy my independence and just being me as well so please understand I’m not looking to be a people pleaser or searching for validation. I seek to truly help in ways that come naturally to me, like writing, to benefit a greater cause or give me a direction to channel my creative efforts. I admit it, I need help too.

I’m doing my best, however the fear is lurking near and  potential disappointment is begging for me to give it some attention. I’d love to say I’ve mastered my mind but I’m scared to find out if my dreams are about to come true or not. It’s a rollercoaster of mixed emotions and I’m doing my best to ride the waves and pray that my wishes are fullfilled.