EEE….
Weee… Easter Eclipse Energies… y’all feeling that intensity? Sheesh, I have been incredibly affected by something in the air.
It hailed today with thunder and lightning followed by monsoon rain then sunshine and rainbows with blue skies and cool clouds. A full weather smorgasbord to go with the emotional and physical rollercoaster.
And March is almost over…. It’s happening so fast. All of it.
How can I slow life down a little?
Write more?
Today for a minute I pretended that I won the lottery. I no longer had to worry about work. I imagined being able to do what I want when I want. Freedom to just be and to not berate myself for not getting enough done & not getting billable hours in.
Sigh… someday… I am lucky in so many ways… and grateful for what I do have…
Yoga Monday
Monday’s can be marvelous or manic or both depending on mindset and mood. Yoga helps to set the attitude to gratitude. It’s all about taking time to make time to breathe.
I teach yin yoga at the Whatcom Family Y on Mondays at 5:30pm. It’s good for me to be accountable and to slow down after what usually turns out to be a hectic start to every week. Mindset matters.
Today started with heavy snowflakes and coffee followed by sunshine and more clouds. My brain has been jumping all over the place with ideas and to-do items. So next up is 25 minutes of active yoga to get my head to slow down so I can focus on all the rest of the marvelous Monday tasks.
Happy Lunar New Year!
On February 10 we transition into the year of the Wood Dragon. Sounds cool but really I’m just thankful that there’s basically two new years every year. If at first you don’t succeed try again. Second chances. Every new year! Fresh starts!
Every day, for that matter, is an opportunity to change. To choose and do things differently. Right?
Write. Which is what I have failed to do consistently yet wish I could and therefore I will keep persisting in making an effort to write more again. I feel shifts with the dates of the years and with the seasons and the older I get the more it all blends together in a blur of time moving fast.
So I just got back from Japan and before I flew across the Pacific Ocean I was hyper focused. Working to make money, learning Japanese and training for a marathon. I had a most fabulous time in Japan, I successfully ran 26.2 miles in under 5 hours and returned home ready to focus. Then I got sick.
Fortunately it’s not Covid and although my throat has been gnarly sore and my voice hoarse- I sound like a smoker- I think I’m on the other side of it. Getting better already because I didn’t try to push thru the sick. I stuck to the couch, rested and uploaded tons of videos and pictures. And now it’s night and I write.
There’s so much to say and so many ways to say it that once again I feel overwhelmed by the task. My main immediate goal has been to not get stressed so I can get healthy faster by staying in rest and digest mode.
This puts me in a conundrum because just thinking about all the work I have lined up along side all the fun things I want to write, create and share makes me feel like time is pressing which starts me stressing. So I’ll stop.
I’ve done a lot during these past few days of staying home sick so as not to spread an unknown throat ravaging virus. I’ve been quite productive from the couch- I’m just not doing the things I feel in need to or should be doing if I was healthy.
Such is life I suppose- always keeping us on our toes with unexpected twists and turns. Always new lessons to learn.
Either way I am grateful for all the things. For all my friends, family and the people who support my small business. I feel very lucky to live the life I live even though it seems like I’ve gotten sick far too often these past few years during and thru the pandemic- I’m still very thankful.
And a special Thank you to all the people with big boat projects on my to-do list- thanks for being patient and understanding. I will do my best to get your items done as soon as I can while maintaining the high quality that has been my standard.
Wrong Date
The last blog post has the wrong date as is often the fate of many of my musings in this virtual diary I’m losing track of. But seriously, word playing aside… I wrote that last post back in September but didn’t hit “publish” so the date is off because I just hit the “why not” share button a few minutes ago.
I worry sometimes that my sense of humor and word-smithing is not perceived correctly but then I wonder why I care so much. I am but another odd duck in a sea of other varied and very strange creatures. Humans are weird. I’m weird. That’s ok. You might not agree and that’s okay too.
I’m currently laying in a king size bed listening to the roar of the Pacific Ocean out the balcony door. The clock read 11:11pm just 16 minutes ago. I just wanted to write something since it’d been too long. October felt like I was waist deep in mud trying to move forward but going nowhere fast. I’m glad that didn’t last. November is better and December is yet to be. Now I must try to sleep.
Starfish Wishes. 💕
Goodnight.
Autumn Endings
I’d like to consider all the aspects I may need to drop in the theme of this time of year. As the days get colder and darker, as leaves turn colors and fall off the trees. I sense the changes within myself as Autumn deepens it’s expression. What do I need to release?
At times I cling to all the physical stuff in my life, holding tightly as if it’s a part of me. Other times I long to simplify and just exist free from all the stuff. I want to be let out of the labeled box I didn’t mean to crawl into.
My creative brain has been fighting the work that needs to get done. Resisting the money that I have to make to not only survive but to thrive. And invariably get more stuff I probably really don’t need. But I want it. Why do I want it?
And sometimes I want it all. The dark and the light. The wrong and the right. The adventures into the unknown future, free from the mistakes of the past and blissed out in every moment where I’m Present and paying attention to my surroundings.
It’s so easy to get wrapped up in the rat race. So hard to want to not feel out of place in this part of time and space.
What is it all for? I think life is supposed to be fun, it’s a game we get to play yet I’m always getting in my own way. Caring too much about not doing enough yet taking time to make time to play. To eat healthy, to be with family and friends, to exercise, to meditate and to fulfill my commitments to others. To run my small business- to keep track of it all. Oh and again the season is Fall.
Time just keeps on trucking yet none of us knows how long we have. So I wonder again my friend… before the end… what do we do? How do we stay engaged yet play the game without going insane? Like those salmon I watched swimming upstream this evening, fighting against the current only to continue the cycle of their species- death and birth, struggle and survival, what’s it all worth?
Expensive yet priceless?
These thoughts like the noisy waters of Whatcom Creek after the rain keep rushing through my brain.
Travel Scholarship
The stone bridges the gap between tame roads and wild lands. Once set in motion consciousness absorbs the reality through flesh and bone. A pocket-sized time machine freezes the scenes into eternity so many eyes can see.
The harsh high mountain weather on its best behavior yet like an artist that’s admiring its work after sculpting all the living things of water, earth and stone.
Fuzzy tufts of new potential lives dance on mini posts in the cool wind under the hot summer sun waiting for the right time to fly.
The horizon all around encrusted with shimmering peaks bearing witness to the process of time in timelessness yet beckoning one deeper into their embrace.
Lingering entranced by a lake of liquid and solid holding itself to be viewed above and below the surface in colors of blue.
All witnesses to the wilderness are forever changed inside and out.
World Nomads Norway Photo and Film 2023
July
I say, wow, it’s midsummer already and time to get out there and play. Life isn’t all about work right?
I’ve been working hard, then I got sick and lost a week of my life to the couch and Netflix, so I’ve been working hard again to catch up on work so I can play more while the weather is warm and the days are still long.
Oh life, why does it throw curveballs like Covid? I had covid last July too. This time wasn’t as bad but it still sucked. Covid sucks.
But I’m grateful to be alive and ready to thrive again. Gotta keep focused on the bright spots. The happy moments of this wild adventure called life.
VisUal migraine
It used to be called an Ocular Migraine but according to Google that’s something different now. It’s not my preferred way to learn something new however I experienced this “visual migraine” yesterday and it freaked me out. I had minor pain behind the back of my left eye all day but in the evening I was texting and suddenly I couldn’t blink away this weird zig zaggy iridescent rainbow in front of my eyes.
The light all seemed too bright too so I laid down, put a cold washcloth over my eyes (freaked out) and called my Mom. She did the Dr. Google research for me while I listened to her prognosis and steadied my breathing while watching that bright zig zag of rainbow light move behind closed eyelids.
It may sound kind of cool but it wasn’t. I love my eyes, vision and sight so this was frightening. But it passed in about 25 minutes- thank goodness. Apparently it can happen with or without pain and nobody really knows what causes it other than something neurological occurs. People have suspected many culprits including food and stress.
Stress- yes- have I been stressed? Yes.
Even though I had a great run with my friend Suz yesterday which is my favorite stress reliever it didn’t relieve the pressure enough? After the run I had errands to go do, and work to catch up on- work that has me stressed. It shouldn’t be a big deal but it is… deadlines and timelines and strataglass and big detailed chunks of Sunbrella with lots of zippers. Oof. So I’ve done it before, building the skins for Dodgers, after the first one I said never again, and now I’ve done more than I want to count and have two on the immediate to-do list.
Why do they stress me out so bad? Details requiring precision and a perfectionism complex combined with a creative brain and minor adhd. Eek!
So… It’s 10:30 at night and I’m soaking in a freshly cleaned bath tub full of Epsom salts and hot water. I am definitely overdue for a hot spring adventure. But there’s too much to do so I’ll settle for this for now and hope it de-stresses me a little more. Also, magnesium is supposed to help.
Trying to be present but thinking about the future- I’m a sub-yoga teacher for a class tomorrow morning at 9:15am at the Y and mornings are not my thing but yoga is another good thing for stress relief right?
Right… so… of course I couldn’t just sit and zone out in the faux hot spring home spa… I had to write but writing is a stress reliever too, right?
If it’s all about the stories we tell ourselves about the things we experience then I’m getting on the right track. Slow down, breathe, take time to make time and keep telling myself the story of how I’ve got this- I can do it all and it all will be fine.
My eyes or my body will force me to lay down and relax if I don’t choose to do it myself enough. Rough but okay. As long as I learn my lessons and recover quickly. Life is weird. These human body/avatars we animate are so… finicky sometimes and other times inspiringly amazing. Roll with the punches and soak in the salt.
And keep hoping I’ll hit the jackpot on the WA Lottery someday soon so I can just go play all day. Less stress more days where it feels like the world is my Oyster dome.
Lemon Balm
As I was taking my shower a short bit ago I had all this powerful prose in mind and was inspired to write but it’s late at night and I’m drinking some lemon balm tea. And feeling very sleepy after not getting enough sleep last night - waking up early- troubleshooting things, trying to figure out Mailchimp for gbrc, getting the internet fixed, delivering boat cushions, making estimates and going sailing.
It was Not just sailing though, it was bouy racing in the bay, but also match racing the other J70 with the yellow kite which made it more fun but more competitive too. The yellow kite and sun photos makes me think of how lemon balm makes me feel- warm and fuzzy. However sailboat racing is quite athletic and it’s a good reminder why I don’t do it very often anymore. I’d rather cruise and not beat the crap out of my body tacking, jibing and pulling on lines. But it was Beautiful to be out on the water. The clouds were spectacular today.
It’s been super windy lately but was lighter tonight. Perfect really for sailing for me. And what about this hybrid solar eclipse today? Not visible from here but have you noticed how the energy has been lately? Weird weird weird. I can’t even write straight. Goodnight, good day or when ever you read this. Oh and happy Eclipse!
