Blogger in a bog
9999! I’ve been seeing that number repeatedly all day and I must say it’s making me think there’s a message I’m missing.
I’ve been bogged down by the thought of writing in this blog…. there’s too much other stuff to do! Oh my, but I love to write so I’m not JL giving up the fight just yet.
I’ll place my bet that at some point I’ll figure it out. I’ll understand what the ángel numbers are all about.
Until then it’s back to sewing without knowing what the future exactly holds.
Update Upgrade?
The iPhone informed me that I had used all my storage. I knew it was mostly photos. My MacBook is full of them too which meant it was time to squeeze it all onto the external hard drive and I hoped there was still room.
As usual one thing led to another, then my computer squealed that I must update and upgrade! Of course I hestitated. What if I don’t like the changes, I wondered. Duck it, I said and clicked the buttons… now the Mac is in the process as I alternately stare at the bitten Apple between writing this.
Its windy and my hormones are like a storm blowing my emotions around like the clouds. I always get impatient for my period to start during this time because I know that once the flow begins I will feel stable again. The cycle never ends and I will keep trying to make it my friend.
I badly desire the skills to be organized, successful and profitable in my creative endeavors. Yet often I struggle to maintain motivation and end up chasing squirrels into rabbit holes. Is there a way to update and upgrade my software system? Quickly and easily like the computer… that would be highly appreciated. Yet I know it’s diligence and vigilance that will incur permanent change in my brain, reprogramming takes constant observation and redirection of thoughts. Tough task if you ask me yet I will persist to resist the self-deprecating creepers that meander in when my digilance is lacking.
I digress, again, sorry my friend. The photo dump is done, the updates are installed and I look forward to my upgraded ability to change that is in process. For now, I don’t know how to do anything but keep trying. And write more. It’s national novel writing month again…. I started reading what I wrote during this time last year. It started off so good and then… got dark and I sought the light elsewhere. I need courage to keep editing…
Writers gotta write
It’s all wrong but it’s alright… the short days of fall bring the early darkness of night. The weather and lack of daylight makes for more time to write so I just might be able to finally finish some of these other book projects I’ve been hoarding during this Fall/Winter. Although, I also think I need more time to sew… so… we’ll see… life is busy and beautiful and very strange.
@JoyLoveHoops
Sew I must say…
I’ve been working a lot this summer and now suddenly autumn is here with a vengeance. The wind is howling, the rain is falling and leaves are littered everywhere! Good thing most of my sewing projects for the next few days can be completed indoors. And it’s the time of year where I will be writing and blogging more again!
If you didn’t know already I do a variety of things for work but the most viable source of income comes from sewing. All sorts of custom creations- from one of a kind bridesmaid jumpsuits & upcycled backpacks to custom cushions & full boat covers.
Almost everything I sew
involves coming up with creative solutions for one of a kind projects. I do enjoy variety but at times find myself challenged in entirely new ways by things I’ve yet to encounter.
For instance, I was making a pattern recently which required me to use my paddle board because the cover I was making was for a skiff which hanging from davits over the water on the back of a large Bayliner. The extra challenge was to make a fitted cover that could also be installed while the skiff was in place a few feet in the air and hanging over water.
Everytime I finish a project such as this one I think about the myriad ways that I could have done it differently or even done it better.
I am always learning and always striving to improve my skills yet I struggle with also always wishing I had the knowledge I gained after the fact beforehand.
I suppose that is just the nature of this type of work. When things are a one-of-a-kind they require a creative mind that can engineer a functional design from start to finish without a handbook or a reference manual.
Anyway, the point is, I’ve been very fortunate in my work to meet so many cool people from all walks of life. I enjoy that aspect this kind of self-employment very much.
Word of mouth referrals and random encounters have led me to jobs for people who are wonderful and some of who are also now my long time friends. I am a small business and grateful that I do not have to advertise.
Thank you to everyone who has given me a good review and told others about what my business has to offer. I appreciate you very much.
Earth Day 2020
Every day really is Earth Day, a day to celebrate this planet that we call home. It’s crazy to think how much we take it for granted, this life we have here on Earth. The whole Covid-19 pandemic has really brought it home how much we take a lot of aspects of our lives for granted. Don’t it always seem to go, you don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone? Yes, indeed. Unfortunately, it appears we have all needed a little reminder to appreciate what we had. Now that it’s gone we get the chance to change our ways as we walk into a new future.
The world has changed in many ways the past few months. I wonder why we all can’t just stay home more often. Less traffic, less pollution, less stress… unless theres no income, but then why do we have to work so hard to make money all the time only to have no time to enjoy life?
The system is broken and we have to fix it somehow so that all people have all their basic needs taken care of first. No more of this paycheck to paycheck living on a thread kind of crap. Barely making ends meet is a terrible way to live. Let us find ways to make homeless, hungry and sickness extinct.
Seriously, it appears that the proverbial shit has actually hit the fan. Everything was affected so fast by the virus that it’s painful to watch. At the same time a big shift is occurring. People everywhere can no longer ignore how intimately connected all life on earth is. That is huge!!!
No matter how much we want to go back to business as usual it’s impossible for most of us to stick our heads back in the sand after seeing how rapidly we can change and adapt when it’s a matter of life or death. Most of us want to live. Most of us have health and happiness as a top priority in life yet fall far short of health and happiness because we run full speed on the hamster wheel with no time to breathe.
Even I have a hard time finding time to meditate. I always feel as if theres something I should be doing to be a productive member of society/my family and everybody always has an expectation for how they would like me to spend my time (and the money I don’t really even have). I’m fortunate to be in a situation where my basic needs are met (and often exceeded with lots of chocolate) but still I find my stress levels going thru the roof far too often. It is crazy that life has come to be this way. Until now there didn’t appear to be a way out.
But the hamster wheel has stopped, abruptly. Now the wheels in our heads and hearts are spinning with questions. Where do we go from here? We need to eat, we need to sleep, we need shelter and we are finding that we also need connection and community. Humans, even the ones who claim to be hermits and introverts when they really look deep into their hearts, realize, that without other humans to share stuff with, life doesn’t make much sense and it’s much more difficult. Difficult in different ways. We need each other and we need the earth and we need all of it to be healthy so we can be happy. Some may say happiness is over-rated but I would strongly disagree.
We are not here to suffer. We are here to expand our capacity for creation, understanding and love. We deserve to feel the full extent of Joy that it means to be alive on this magical planet spinning thru a vast endless universe of space. Life doesn’t have to be so hard, but right now it is. Partially because of a series of choices that were made for us before we knew we had a choice. We may still think it is not an option to choose differently than we did before but at what expense? What’s it all worth in the end? Why do you think you exist at all?
Tell me your creation story in the comments, please.
I want to know what you think that this life is about.
What is the meaning of life?
How did we get here and what is our purpose for being alive?
Where do we go from here?
Thank you.
The Loveseat
I just woke up. The dream reality fades as the waking one begins again. I was hungry so I ate a perfect bar before my first sip of coffee. The timer on the coffee pot said it had been sitting there ready for 111 minutes. I filled my cup and wandered into the living room where the morning sun streams in thru the ancient double pane windows. I lower the shades and stretch out on the loveseat fully bathed in warm sunlight.
The dusty rose color of the upholstery has faded with the UV light over the years. I remember when this loveseat was in my Grandparents house and we barely ever got to sit on it. The matching sofa that was sold for $111 after we had to clear out their house was still virtually pristine too. I feel like a rebel drinking coffee on this small couch. With my bare feet stretched up on the armrest. Do my Grandparents still feel the same way now that they’re in spirit form? I wonder. Either way I’m using this loveseat everyday. I can’t take it with me when I go and I’m glad I get to use it while I’m here. It reminds me of them. My mind wanders thru a tangle of mixed emotions from the past. It seems so simple but it’s so complicated how our belief systems are created and destroyed. And how important family is.
Inanimate objects can hold such sentimental value and when focused on can trigger cascades of memories and emotions. I’m grateful.
Poetress
Write what?
Do I have the right?
Is it wrong?
We’re do I belong?
In a never ending song
The music flows
It goes and goes
On and on forever more
Oh I would so adore
Peace of mind
The way to find
A simple life
With less strife
And less stress
It’s such a mess
So I wish upon a date
To alter my fate
To change my destiny
Tired of testing me
I want to be free
I want to see
Clearly the path
While I soak in a bath
Of hot spring water
Gaia makes it hotter
The healing gift
I feel the lift
But oh I wish
Like a fish
To swim
On a whim
Abundant and secure
Less concern to endure
Financial freedom to be
The artist that is me
This spirit that is wild
Embracing my inner child
Living in peace
Watching the geese
Or the clouds go by
As I sigh
Relief
Belief
Change them as I do
Wanting to be true
Eco-friendly and sustainable
Health easily maintainable
For all of us here
With no need to fear
Take care of all needs
Pull out the weeds
Share this space
This beautiful place
Earth is our home
Wherever we may roam
(Found this poem I wrote awhile back on my phone but was stored in the cloud and had the urge to share here just now. Wow.)
Slacker
Really, I feel as though I have been a bit of a slacker but I want to change. Re-prioritize my priorities and get focused on my goals and dreams. It just seems so challenging some days, especially these days… I must say.
I was already a germ-o-phob before the whole Coronavirus pandemic and now it’s justified but it has increased my diligence. I want to stay healthy yet I am susceptible to stress and psychically I’m picking up on the state of the world too. Staying grounded and strong gets tricking being an empath.
It’s the end of the world…
as we know it and I feel… strange. Musical lyrics always linger in my brain then my thoughts will rearrange them to suit my mood. It’s true dude! The world will never be the same after the Pandemic of 2020.
Theres not much else I feel like saying at the moment… just that for now. And I need to start writing more again.
Happy New Year!
It’s here, a brand new year! I am hoping that being it’s now 2020 it will keep my vision clear. The goal is to embrace love over fear.