Love & Courage

In honor of the super full moon tonight.

Of course my retired teacher friend would point this out when we were playing a round of disc golf today. He asked about my blog and whether or not there was a theme to it so I explained how I've changed my theme to relate to the title of the book I'm working on. Immediately he said something about how it's dualistic in nature and that its usually opposites- like Love and Hate or Courage and Fear. I was concerned at first that I had made some sort of mistake.

Then it hit me like lightening, the power of words brought clarity into my mind. They are inextricably linked, Love and Courage, Hate and Fear. It helped me to realize how much love has given me the courage to do things far from my comfort zone. Love has inspired me to move past so many of my self-imposed limitations no matter how much it scares me. Love is so much greater than fear and it's still all so relevant to what I'm trying to convey by sharing my intimate story. We all can learn how to consciously choose love in moments where we need courage the most in order to be able to move beyond where we have been. We have so much potential and the truth is that in love, with love, it is, we are, limitless. 

Love 11:11

I love seeing 11:11, it's a sign to me that I'm on the right path. I made more choices again today based on love rather than fear. Being more mindful is working better everyday. I slept great last night and woke up this morning excited to go take photos and run GBRC's annual Fairhaven Frosty. I did the 10K last year and chose the 5k this year so I would have more time to take pictures afterward. 

It was very wet but I dressed perfectly for it and cranked the heater in the Highlander on my way home. I love to run and it was so much fun to go to another event where I felt such a grand sense of community. My running family is growing the longer I run and it makes me so happy to be a part of something greater than I'm used to.

Social events of any kind used to really scare me, I didn't know how to handle them so I always felt awkward and uncomfortable. Now, it seems my perspective has helped changed my perception which has changed the way I feel and what I see when I participate in races. Being a photographer for GBRC too, I try to capture the joy of running in these events in order to encourage other people to run and keep running too. I know how much running has really helped me and I only hope that other people find that is the case for them as well. 

Running changed my life and though some days I really don't feel like going for a run I always feel better after I do. Being a part of a running club and having affordable races helps to keep me motivated to not only run but to keep improving my abilities. The more I run races the more I see familiar faces and I believe it helps us all feel more at home here in Bellingham. I love this city and the Pacific Northwest and all the beautiful, amazing, kind, wonderful, happy, intelligent people who share this part of the world with me. I feel very blessed to be here. 

Love > Fear

Yay! Today, love wins the battle. Yes, fear still reared it's ugly head a few times today for me but I think I may be on to something with this specific way of paying attention. I feel good today in spite of only getting about 5 hours of sleep last night. I had a hard time falling asleep and not only woke up extra early, I got going early. I knew I had important things to do today. Like spending some time playing with my Cousin's twins

It wasn't all play, he had a work meeting to attend and had asked for the help I had volunteered previously. I have still never changed a diaper but I did a couple firsts with those adorable little boys today. Helping to feed them was kinda fun too albeit messy. Taking care of kids has always scared me for all kinds of reasons, those tiny humans are a huge responsibility for one. So I'm not sure what it is about these two specific guys but they stole my heart from the first time I met them. They were born too soon and had so much help coming into this life from so many people right from the start. Watching the journey that my cousin and his wife have been through with them is a clear demonstration of the power of love.

Like I said, I've never spent much time around kids so this whole thing is new to me but I absolutely love them and want to help them however I can. The way their unique personalities shine so brightly already it's going to be really fun to continue to watch them and get to know them as they grow up. I'm glad I'm able to help out too, the logistics of having one kid, let alone two at once is mind-boggling to me and I really don't know how people do it. I suppose once again it just goes to show that Love wins. Love is the most powerful force in the universe. If only we can all allow more love in our lives and choose to make decisions based on the expansiveness that only love can bring us.

Fear > Love

Unfortunately today for me, fear was greater than love. As I went about my day I attempted to remain conscious of how I was making my choices and I soon became aware of how often I take action out of fear. First thing this morning I realized that I tend to wake up and stress myself out immediately. I looked at the clock at 9:30 and felt guilty for still being in bed. However being aware of that I then took the time to write in my virtual journal on my phone while trying to sort through the contracting feelings within my chest before moving on to my usual morning routine.

I fell behind on my task list and still made the choice to go to Elements for some hot yoga this afternoon because I love the way yoga makes me feel. With perfect timing the instructor Lauren mentioned at the beginning of class how it's not necessary to hurry, it's important to be present and mindful. Even though I know better I always seem to be in a hurry these days, so much so that sometimes I forget to breathe. Just another reason why yoga is so good for me when I manage to get myself to go. Later as I was dripping with sweat and my mind had wandered off to other things I could be doing, she mentioned paying attention to our bodies and how often we are all afraid of looking within at how we are feeling. It's so true, I often get so caught up in the future I forget to acknowledge why I feel so constricted and then make the choice change it by shifting my focus. Fear caught me again, fear of not doing enough, but I'm the only one keeping score...

Which reminds me of the profound note from the universe I received in my inbox this morning, it said, "There is no scorekeeping Joy. Everyone lives each day for him or herself, no matter what they did. No one owes anything to anyone, no matter what happened. And from this, what I hope you most get, is that whatever you do next, you do it for the joy it brings you.  Rock on, The universe" (If you haven't heard of Mike Dooley and these notes from the universe I highly recommend googling it as soon as you finish reading this post.)

I tried to take it to heart, it sounds so wonderful and I want to believe that it's true but I still have some bad habits to break. I guess its time to step further out of my comfort zone because I'm used to doing things because I'm afraid of what will happen if I don't.  And that really sucks because fear seems to stop the feeling of joy in its tracks. I'm just going to keep trying to increase my awareness in each present moment each day until I retrain my brain that it's all ultimately going to be okay, I want to feel Joyful again. Life is supposed to feel good. We are all supposed to feel loved and be happy more often than not.

Theme Time

I was reading the book Platform again last night and decided to heed some of the advice since I really want my book launch to be a success. I've been working on my elevator pitch and last night before I went to bed my head started spinning with ideas. I wrote some of them down in the notes app but I'm uploading a hoop video to youtube right now via Videoshop on my iPhone so I can't access it at the moment since I don't have iCloud set up to sync everything. I suppose I don't need that info just yet anyway, I have to remember to do one thing at a time. I seem to always have three steps in mind at once and then I wonder why I get overwhelmed.

Today I am going to start to narrow down the focus of my blog so that my posts are relevant to my book and the message I am hoping to send out to the world. I realize I can be a bit scattered because I love variety and have so many things I'm passionate about. But I need to start building a solid foundation for actually attempting to make some sort of living off of this book that I feel will be of real value to a lot of people. It's a crazy love story with all kinds of lessons I have learned with its unfolding. 

Love Versus Fear is the title and the theme to come in the following blog posts will be about how we can choose to become more aware of how we are making choices in our day to day lives. Are we acting out of love or fear? After reading another perfectly timed blog post by Pam Grout today I think I've figured out how to do this. Her stories are always inspiring and uplifting, reminding me of the theme in her books which I always need reminding of. I think we could all use her reminders actually so I'm going to put my own spin on the same kind of thing and attempt to focus on the love. Why? Love versus Fear is a constant battle we all have to fight and I want Love to win for all of us.

Please, like if you like it, comment and share with anyone you think may enjoy what I have to say.

Thank You. 

Ephemeral

As the earth spins the sunlight dances on the canvas of the atmosphere creating such profound yet fleeting beauty that is often admired only with the naked eye. Today I'm grateful for the sky. An unending source of inspiration which is constantly changing, gracefully and violently, subtly and obviously, day after day without ending. At times it is mind-bending.

For what it's worth, I love this earth.

This planet we call home, the one we freely roam.

With ancient trees and inland seas,

Mountains tall with countless waterfall,

Truly the best, North, South, East and West.

Traveling up and traveling down, really we just travel around,

This giant sphere, from far and near.

Such an amazing place, for this crazy human race.

Porquoi? ¿Por qué?

Why the French? Why the Spanish? Why do I love to learn different languages? Why does why start with a P, in French, Spanish and Italian? Why do I ask so many questions? Why am I having a hard time finding balance?

I wonder how much time I spent on the beach that day as I walked along searching for and picking up what I thought were the perfect shaped stones. Specific ones that I hoped would stack on top of each other, intentionally sized up and then balanced one by one, on top of the other, on top of a piece of driftwood. It was done slowly and carefully with just enough time to snap a photo before it toppled over scattering the stones randomly back onto the beach. Is finding balance always like this?

Is this always just the way it goes? We have an idea and set our intention to create some sense of balance in our life only to have the pendulum start swinging again. The equilibrium we found is beautiful for a short period and then it's gone. All that's left is a fleeting memory and maybe a photo of what it looked like. Then we attempt to find it again in so many different ways...

Porquoi? Porque...

Why? Because... I supposed that's just the way it is.

Same as the only constant... change.

Viral Blog?

Iceberg Lake from Chain Lakes Loop trail, Washington State, Summer 2017

Is it possible to have a blog go viral? I've heard and seen plenty of viral videos and was just thinking about that in regard to my YouTube Channel. How can I make one of my creations go viral? How does it happen? Is it just plain luck or do I need to do something completely cool, totally outrageous and get it into the right place at the right time? I really want to figure this out because I'm trying to build my platform for launching these super cool books that I have been working so hard on.  Not only that, I want to have more reasons to put more effort into making my videos better. I know I can make them way better if I spend more time on them but why bother if only a few people are going to see them?

I was just looking at the statistics on my Eleven NW youtube channel, it's not so popular these days and though I gained one subscriber this month I lost two. Now part of me knows that I need to do these things because I love them and not for any other reason. The other part of me feels like I could do more if I have some sort of ultimate goal in mind with a bigger plan.  I guess I'm looking for a purpose in my creative endeavors. I suppose I will always take way too many photos, write, run, hike, hula hoop, make videos, play music, paint, sew and share my adventures but I wish there was some more beneficial reason for not only doing and creating but for sharing them.

How do I engage an audience I don't have or even know how to get? I'm working on it with social media but it seems like I could do more. I just wonder if all it would take is one viral video, one viral blog post that could get me discovered by more people who could benefit from my quirky personality and unlimited adventures with lots of fully illustrated ways of sharing them. How does it happen? How can Joy Love and ElevenNW go viral?

Watch me. 

Please, Like, Comment, Follow, Subscribe, ReTweet, Share, RePost, and Tell your friends about this crazy woman from the Northwest who wants to bring more Joy to the world!

Falling

17 days in a row and I was close to breaking my streak today... it's almost midnight and I've been struggling with what to write here today. There's too many things on my mind, too much to put into words, especially after that movie, "The pursuit of Happyness" tugged at my heart strings & opened the flood gates. 

My emotions are like fluid falling down the mossy rocky face of my heart with a steady stream of thoughts feeding the flow as my pulse races toward the path of least resistance. It's kinda blurry with the motion of combined energies running through my veins and surrounding me clearly without being seen. I wonder and wander within the depths of my consciousness searching for the purpose to unfold, hoping I'm able to keep bending before I break because there's so much at stake. 

Outside Options

The interurban trail bridge at Arroyo Park today on the way back from Chuckanut Falls.

The day after Thanksgiving, also known as Black Friday or Buy Nothing Day depending on which extreme direction you sway, is full of options. One of the best options in my mind, regardless of what the day may be labelled, is to get outside. I always feel better after I get out in the woods and get some fresh air. Even a simple walk outside usually clears my head better than anything else. Its hard for me to imagine all those people who choose to go shopping today but I'm not here to judge either. To each their own, really, I just want everyone to be happy. Truly happy. I wish life were easier for all of us, in every way possible, today and everyday. That's all. And I'm thankful most of us have so many options to choose from as we go about our lives.

Gratitude

Happy Thanksgiving!

Yesterday at Cherry Point Beach, Washington.

There are so many reasons to be consciously thankful on a regular basis and this holiday is a good reminder to remember. I feel truly blessed just to be living in the Pacific Northwest where the mountains meet the sea and natures playground surrounds this amazing community of people. I could tell you all the things specifically that I'm grateful for today, but it would take a really long time.

Basically, life is good, I'm healthy, I'm happy, I love my partner, my family and my diverse group of friends and I feel loved and accepted in return. This earth is amazing, this life is a gift, the food I get to eat everyday is wonderful, this tonic water I'm drinking right now is perfect and I could go on. It's good to be alive and I'm thankful for it all.