Costco Connection

A shot from the best Road Trip of 2017!

I just happened to notice a little box asking to share a story about a Road Trip in this months issue of the Costco Connection magazine. The first thing I thought of was driving through the desert this last summer with Mark for an unexpected work trip to Ontario, Oregon. 

 I thought it would be a good exercise to write something up and send it. It will be interesting to see if they decide to publish it.

Hooping in the desert sun.

It was full of everything I love- adventure, exploration, hot springs, scenery, hula hooping, sunsets and time with a man who stole my heart. Just like that mini road trip was unexpected so is our relationship. We never expected to be together, we didn't have any idea from the very beginning what this was or what it would turn into. We still don't know how its all going to turn out. I shake my head and wonder what it all is. We have some connection that is for sure beyond this lifetime, it may even be beyond time itself. 

All I know is that life is a hell of an adventure and I just want to enjoy it as best I can. I can take life much too seriously at times but I know life is supposed to be fun. Even though we all struggle at times I guess it's just happens that way to provide contrast for the times when it seems so easy and wonderful. 

Pitching again

Just finished my 50th daily French lesson on DuoLingo after making a huge to-do list and crossing off a bunch of tasks. My mind is all over the place this morning yet I am getting shit done. Somehow.

I was thinking this morning about Love during all of my multi tasking and wanted to write a blog post about this powerful emotion that I was feeling in a subtle way I wasn't sure I could put into a logical explanation. I thought I would try another Pixar pitch format just for fun and tell my abstract concept as a story of sorts. Of course practice makes perfect even though I don't like doing things repetitively.  Hence it's not really a pitch for my book either. 

Anyway, I was thinking about how we have such capacity for deep unconditional love that feels so wonderful when we allow it to overcome us. Oftentimes we let the details get in the way of really feeling it and all it takes is a matter of a shift in perspective to bring that feeling back. Here it goes.

Once upon a time there was only one love, a magnificent force that encompassed the entire void of space without time.
Every day was the same, there were no days, no thoughts, no nothing but pure love and perfection existing in timelessness.
One day this one love had one thought that split eternity into time.
Because of that the universe as we know it was created in that moment.
Because of that absolutely everything is intricately connected and ultimately is the same one love that started the whole illusion of separateness that has created endless adventures in time and space wrought with pain and suffering because of not knowing this one love.
Until finally one day all of the parts of that one love realized itself again within each being, each creation from the moment of that first thought came to understand the brilliance of the self-imposed illusion of separation for unending adventures that could be created with just one thought and once again, the universe as we know it will never the same.

Why be afraid anymore when we know we are all ultimately that one love, that we chose this time and space for adventuring and knowing our infinite selves in infinite ways. It started with one, then another one made two, then those two made two and became four, then those four when on to create even more. Simple multiplication really. Oh the abstract concepts of complicated math makes my head spin like the contemplation of the meaning behind what I am trying to say with a brain that is limited by my limited beliefs about the nature of reality. Whew. Okay, back to my task list. Never a dull moment in the inner world of Joy Love.

Infinite possibilities locked within finite bodies, timeless spirits locked in time.

Fascinating and mind boggling.

Elevator Pitch

Instead of working on writing an "Elevator Pitch" for my book I drew a pun. The Space needle has high speed elevators that travel from the ground level to the top in optimum conditions at a rate of 800 feet per minute. I drew the 605' tall space needle thinking it would give me more time in the elevator to sell my pitch but the ride is still only 43 seconds (according to a google search).

So that means I still only have 43 seconds to give a micro spiel, which is why there is a also megaphone in the drawing.  At least it will be loud and clear from the tallest observation tower in Washington state...

So here goes my Pixar Pitch version:

In the beginning I thought it was just infatuation. Every day I told myself stories for why I seemed to feel the way that I did when I was near him. One day I decided to ask him if he felt the same way. Because of the love I felt I had courage to step out of my comfort zone. Because I stepped out of my comfort zone my life was never the same. Until finally we crossed paths again years later and both discovered that the feeling of infatuation hadn't gone away.

It's a love story that could have ended a long time ago. A story of love that could have had many different endings all along the way. It's a story that hasn't ended yet and I hope to share it with you to encourage you to step out of your comfort zone. It's never too late to find out if it was just an infatuation. Maybe someone is out there just waiting for you to make the first move. Maybe you just need that little nudge of outside validation that it is possible, and that love stories are as real and varied as the people who choose to explore them. Love is powerful beyond our normal perceptions.

Happy Birthday Jesus!

Jesus was a wise man who was crucified for no good reason. It’s amazing to think about how this holiday has morphed since Jesus was born. What does Jesus think about what people have done with his story and how we celebrate his birthday? I wish I knew for sure, however, I can only imagine. 

This holiday can be experienced in so many different ways. I keep doing my best to focus on the good aspects. I enjoyed some quality family time and I am very thankful to be blessed with so much love in my life. This time of year is challenging for a lot of people for all kinds of reasons. I keep praying and wishing for the best of everything for everyone.

Thank you Jesus for being born and having the courage to practice what you preached. I aim to be more like you.

May we all have the courage to overcome our fears as the power of love prevails...

The Truth

What is the truth? The truth is that it's complicated. 

Where do I even begin to tell the whole truth? Part of the reason I am writing this book, "Love versus Fear" is to get the truth out there. Not only the facts of this life story I have to share but the beliefs that have shaped my reality along the way. It's complicated to explain how everything has taken place, if I look at it one way I feel guilty, if I look at it another way I feel justified. There are just a lot of facets to the truth so depending on how you look at the facts it can be perceived in so many different ways.

I may believe I am telling the truth but in actuality I am telling it from my perspective which is skewed by my personal observations of others along with my personal experience. I understand that my truth may not be the same as someone else because of this. I did not lie but I did withhold some information that would have changed the feelings and outcomes during certain situations in my life. I kept the truth to myself because explaining certain facts would have probably caused a lot more problems during an already difficult situation. I did what I felt I had to and some may consider what I did to be a lie. That is one of my greatest fears because there is nothing I despise more than lies. 

I do my best to be honest because I want the same in return. However the truth can really hurt, especially when the reason behind the truth is not malicious even if it may be perceived that way. It was important for me to keep some of the facts to myself until the time was right, until time had healed some wounds in all of the people who were involved. Until hindsight was available for a better perspective of the whole situation. I never wanted to hurt anyone, I never wanted to hurt myself and I know that it all hurt a whole lot. I know that it still hurts and for that I am sorry. I wish I could heal the past but I can only offer healing in the present by telling the truth now because the future has yet to be determined. 

Murder she wrote...

You see that crow that just launched into the air? Yeah, that's me ready for 2018. All my projects are going to get launched into the air completed and ready to share. There will be no murder's though unless we're talking about a flock of crows. 

I love crows and ravens too. These intelligent black birds are fascinating to me. The sounds they make when they communicate are also fun for me to try and imitate. I just wish I knew what they (and myself) are saying in Corvidae language.

The sound of the word murder evokes fear and some people see crows as a bad omen so maybe that's how the term came to be.  I just think it sounds better than calling it a flock so I use the alternative name for the group reference. Did you know a group of ravens is called a congress? I didn't either until I looked up the term murder for this post. Pause for thought, just be caws.

Caw-caw-caw!

Pillar Point

Pillar: "a person or thing regarded as reliably providing essential support for something"

Point: "the significant or essential element of what is intended or being discussed"

Today I'm going to make a pillar point and share a picture from Pillar Point County Park.

Love always wins over fear but we have to make that choice. In order to make a choice between love or fear we have to be aware of our internal dialogue. Our inner space where we communicate with ourselves is often full of chaos due to physical things outside ourselves and often outside of our control.

This is where it helps to know ourselves well enough to know what we need to focus on. The things that we want to see manifest in our lives. The things that we do have control over. When we focus on the things we want to happen it helps us feel good inside. When we feel good inside we radiate it outward and it's contagious. Like attracts like. 

It takes time to remember to focus on what we want (not what we don't want) and is well worth the effort. In making the intention to choose to make choices based on the emotions of love versus fear I have realized that it takes vigilance and determination to stay on track. Remaining aware enough to realize when I switch to auto-pilot and choosing to go back to manual mode where I am the one who has the power over my feelings.

Consciously choosing to remain aware of what I am thinking in the moments as they happen. It's taking time to learn but it's working. Love is the answer because we can use it to look our fears in the face and keep moving forward.

Snowed In

At the crack of dawn I started hearing a tink-tink-tink-tink against the side of this tiny tin cabin. I rolled over and went back to sleep figuring it would pass. As the light increased I awoke to the same sound and wondered if it was what I thought. Sure enough but much more than I thought it was, it was about 7 inches of snow. 

What? We are sitting at sea level in a tiny coastal town called Clallam bay. It’s not supposed to snow here, I thought. However when I checked the forecast last night it was predicting snow but it wasn’t supposed to start until 4pm this afternoon. We were planning on leaving first thing this morning but the Prius probably wouldn’t make it out the driveway yet. Funny how plans can change so quickly.

We originally wanted to take a low budget Camping trip out to the coast for a little getaway with some serious beach time. Since we have the Prius and it gets such great gas mileage a roadtrip seemed like a good idea. Then we thought about the fact that it’s almost the winter Solstice and it rains a lot this time of year. We still wanted to getaway but we didn’t want to suffer for it either. After a little searching we found a place to stay on Air BnB... the price and location was almost perfect. It was more than the cost of Camping but totally worth every penny. I keep thinking about how miserable we would have been trying to camp in this weather. Not only that, this place is incredibly adorable.

If you’ve ever fantasized about having a tiny home or living in a small coastal community (or even if you haven’t) I’d totally recommend giving this place a try next time you need an escape. This place, appropriately named the “tiny tin cabin” is not only in a sweet location for total access to some amazing places it’s a cozy & comfortable safe haven from the elements. I’m sure it’s even more fabulous in the summertime. Even better the owner feels like a friend already even though I’ve never met her.

We talked on the phone this morning and she said we could stay if we needed to. Fortunately the snow turned to rain shortly after we spoke and so far we’ve seen a snowplow going north, so as soon it passes here on the way back we should be able to head home.

We’re grateful to have to option of staying for safety’s sake. It gave me the chance to practice my french and write my daily blog post too. It really is a lovely spot and I could stay here a lot longer if it wasn’t for all the work I have to do back home amongst our other responsibilities. It’s been a great getaway and being snowed in this morning sure has made for a good twist to the story. 

Agate Hunting

I close my eyes and hear the waves crashing against the shore. The salty air is cool as I inhale and exhale with the rhythm. Opening my eyes as I walk, the stones beneath my feet give way, leaving an imprint with each step. I look for clarity, stones that glow under the overcast skies. Sprinkled amongst all of the billons of other stones. It’s as if each agate holds a promise of enduring light & love from the earth. These tiny treasures that have been tumbled by the sea and laid out to be found for free. Walking the beach is therapy in itself, finding these little gems along the way are such a gift. This earth is amazing and I am eternally grateful for all that this planet provides. ❤️🌎❤️

Lucky

I’m so happy to say that I’m so freakin lucky 🍀. I’m lucky to have so much love in my life. I’m lucky to be alive too for that matter. Life is a gift when we are present. 

I’m learning how to be more present. I try to remember to appreciate all the wonderful things that sometimes I take for granted. There are so many reasons I feel so fortunate. So much I have and so many things I get to experience in this lifetime.

Even though I struggle with duality often enough I know that I learn from it. I learn from the love & I learn from my fears. I’m here to keep learning and growing and I am grateful.

Terpsichorean

Hula hoops are totally terpsichorean. As I writer I have the Merriam-Webster app and sometimes I check the word of the day. I love words so learning new ones is kinda fun, like this one from today, coming from terpsis  choros which is Greek to me as it (almost literally) translates to enjoyment of dancing. Therefore it’s perfect for relating to Hoop dancing which I also 💕love 💕 . 

I’ve always been pretty shy especially when it comes to dancing. For some reason having a hula hoop to dance with is like having some sort of magical power. My fear just disappears (mostly) so I can let go and enjoy the freedom of dancing. And I mean more than just dancing when nobody’s watching and I’m all alone. I actually feel encouraged by the whole amazing hooping community to share the beauty of the dance. Embracing the sheer enjoyment of being alive by movement with the body and these simple yet sacred circles. Totally Terpsichorean, Totally Awesome. 

Whoever you are and whatever you do, make sure to remember to enjoy the dance of your life in whatever ways you love the most.

Happy Dancing!