Powerful Perspective

Choosing our perspective is a super powerful move. When we shift the way we see things on the inside it changes the way things look on the outside. Just like a trail in the mountains, you can worry about the journey, struggle over the elevation gain and decide that its way too much work to keep going but when you think about it and realize that at some point you're going to get a clear view of the whole beautiful thing it's much more manageable to take those steps.

We can choose to have an empowering perspective in our life. We the people only have as much power as we are willing to own and use. The beauty of life is our free-will! Free will is the ability to choose. Most of us believe others, who have told us throughout our lives we don't have a choice in certain circumstances yet the truth is that we actually do if only we choose to believe we do. So why wouldn't we just take that first step & choose to believe we might possibly have that kind of power? 

No matter how hard it may seem, no matter how long the hike may take, think about the scenery you'll see along the way if you choose to go there. Push past the fear and act out of love, love for whatever it may be that you really love and know that you deserve it. We have the power to make our lives more amazing than we can currently imagine if we each just own up to the fact that we have the power and some of that power lies in our personal perspective which is malleable. We can choose to be the ones who shape it with our own hearts and our own minds. 

Love Hops

Have no fear, hops are here! Do you ever have trouble falling asleep at night? Do you toss and turn as your head spins in circles thinking about all kinds of things? Things that would be better if they waited until tomorrow to hijack your attention but you can't seem to stop them?

I often find that I need help and have found a good clean way to relax before bed. However it is a very bitter remedy, so it's not for everyone. I used to love a good strong Northwest style IPA but being a gluten-free non-alcoholic person these days my new go to chill drink is Hop tea.

Oh yeah, it's strong but with a good scoop of local honey it's a dream come true. Literally, a nice cup before bed and soon I'm off to dreamland. For some reason my mind isn't able to hold me hostage in a wakeful state after drinking it. My body relaxes too and that sweet feeling of drifting off kicks in sooner than on nights when I go without it.

Life is rough when we don't get enough sleep. You may be afraid of what this IPA hop tea tastes like, it's definitely an acquired taste but if you love sleep like me you outta try it sometime. It feels so good.

Love & Anger

What is the opposite of anger anyway? Apathy? Or Peace?

Emotions are never cut and dry, they all have so many variables. We can be very angry at the ones we love the most, we can be angry because we love someone or something. What is this thing called anger and why do we have to feel it? I personally do not like this emotion though I am learning to accept it as a natural part of life. It's good to recognize it when it erupts like a fire in the belly and can make a person act out of character. We must always remember to look at the root cause of our anger and accept ourselves regardless of the why. We are designed this way for a reason, part of our internal guidance system, meant to help steer us in the direction we most want to go.

I would love to feel peaceful all the time, to be emotionally unresponsive to the things that happen in life that make me angry (but are beyond my control). The only control I have is how I react and if I get mad at myself at the same time for getting angry and then try to stop my emotions, it's a sure recipe for trouble. It all comes back to that awareness. Remembering to be present with the emotions instead of distracting ourselves from them or going on automatic and acting out.

Why am I angry? Really, honestly, and how can I constructively use this energy to direct my life for the better? There are a lot of options if I take a moment to breathe and consider them all. Running is one good way to off some steam and process. Another good way is to write it out and process it with words. I can already feel the anger dissipating with my acknowledgement and acceptance of it. We get angry for reasons sometimes and it's okay, it's what we do with it that makes the difference. 

Love Shadow

Snowshoeing today up to Huntoon Point in the Mount Baker wilderness.

It's imperative to learn to love our shadow side. Only when we learn to love the darker aspects of ourselves will we have the courage to really shine our light. Living in a dualistic world the contrast is what allows us to see clear. Physical vs spiritual, dark vs light, and love vs fear. We must have both to know the opposite and to have a choice. That's what life is about, making choices and sometimes the only difference between good and bad is our judgment. Awareness is the key. 

Selling Books

#Gagbot Quotes and #Prisma App modifications hooping with a selfie stick today.

I think one of my biggest fears is actually selling my books. Once I get them done then I have to get them out there and once they're out there I have to be ready to hold my own regardless of the feedback I'll probably get. I know I can't please everyone and if my first book is a success it's scary to think of how many people might read it.

Then the more people that read it the more there may be people who don't like it. It's a vulnerable feeling to allow such an intimate look into how my mind works with regard to my personal experiences and perceptions. 

Writing this blog seems safe currently because there are only a few people who even read it. It's going to be much harder to write here when I have a bigger audience because there will be more at stake. At the same time it's also good that I'm aware of this fear and ready to face it.

That's why it's funny that this Gagbot quote is what popped up in the Prisma app when I was looking for a picture to go with my blog post for today. There's so many other things I could be working toward selling that don't make me feel so vulnerable and scared. At the same time I know they won't be nearly as beneficial or satisfying to complete which is why I'm willing to put myself on the line.

Part of it's not really even the selling that scares me, it's finding out whether or not I'm even good enough to be a successful writer. I'm coaching myself daily and doing my best to get past this. I know it's risky but sometimes the bigger the risk the better the reward. I just hope this is the case when I'm selling books before things. 

Thanks Gagbots & Prisma for inspiring this introspection!

Cold Fears

Sometimes I talk myself out of doing certain activities this time of year because of the temperature. I really don't like to feel cold and I'm always afraid of the Raynaud's phenomenon flaring up during chilly outings. Once again I pushed thru my fear of the cold and we went for an evening bike ride, we were prepared with our lights to ride home in the dark. I dressed warm and it was all good on the way up hill but the cruise down almost made my fingers go numb.

My fingers didn't lose circulation and turn white either, which was great! Sometimes I think I'm winning the battle when the phenomenon doesn't occur for awhile. It's such a strange thing since there's no cure except to stay warm. Regardless I can't and I won't let it stop me from getting outside. The sunset from the interurban trail bridge over Alabama street looking towards Lummi island was gorgeous. It was totally worth feeling the freezing bits of my extremities for a short period of time. I even got a little hooping in. 

Love wins again!

Love & Courage

In honor of the super full moon tonight.

Of course my retired teacher friend would point this out when we were playing a round of disc golf today. He asked about my blog and whether or not there was a theme to it so I explained how I've changed my theme to relate to the title of the book I'm working on. Immediately he said something about how it's dualistic in nature and that its usually opposites- like Love and Hate or Courage and Fear. I was concerned at first that I had made some sort of mistake.

Then it hit me like lightening, the power of words brought clarity into my mind. They are inextricably linked, Love and Courage, Hate and Fear. It helped me to realize how much love has given me the courage to do things far from my comfort zone. Love has inspired me to move past so many of my self-imposed limitations no matter how much it scares me. Love is so much greater than fear and it's still all so relevant to what I'm trying to convey by sharing my intimate story. We all can learn how to consciously choose love in moments where we need courage the most in order to be able to move beyond where we have been. We have so much potential and the truth is that in love, with love, it is, we are, limitless. 

Love 11:11

I love seeing 11:11, it's a sign to me that I'm on the right path. I made more choices again today based on love rather than fear. Being more mindful is working better everyday. I slept great last night and woke up this morning excited to go take photos and run GBRC's annual Fairhaven Frosty. I did the 10K last year and chose the 5k this year so I would have more time to take pictures afterward. 

It was very wet but I dressed perfectly for it and cranked the heater in the Highlander on my way home. I love to run and it was so much fun to go to another event where I felt such a grand sense of community. My running family is growing the longer I run and it makes me so happy to be a part of something greater than I'm used to.

Social events of any kind used to really scare me, I didn't know how to handle them so I always felt awkward and uncomfortable. Now, it seems my perspective has helped changed my perception which has changed the way I feel and what I see when I participate in races. Being a photographer for GBRC too, I try to capture the joy of running in these events in order to encourage other people to run and keep running too. I know how much running has really helped me and I only hope that other people find that is the case for them as well. 

Running changed my life and though some days I really don't feel like going for a run I always feel better after I do. Being a part of a running club and having affordable races helps to keep me motivated to not only run but to keep improving my abilities. The more I run races the more I see familiar faces and I believe it helps us all feel more at home here in Bellingham. I love this city and the Pacific Northwest and all the beautiful, amazing, kind, wonderful, happy, intelligent people who share this part of the world with me. I feel very blessed to be here. 

Love > Fear

Yay! Today, love wins the battle. Yes, fear still reared it's ugly head a few times today for me but I think I may be on to something with this specific way of paying attention. I feel good today in spite of only getting about 5 hours of sleep last night. I had a hard time falling asleep and not only woke up extra early, I got going early. I knew I had important things to do today. Like spending some time playing with my Cousin's twins

It wasn't all play, he had a work meeting to attend and had asked for the help I had volunteered previously. I have still never changed a diaper but I did a couple firsts with those adorable little boys today. Helping to feed them was kinda fun too albeit messy. Taking care of kids has always scared me for all kinds of reasons, those tiny humans are a huge responsibility for one. So I'm not sure what it is about these two specific guys but they stole my heart from the first time I met them. They were born too soon and had so much help coming into this life from so many people right from the start. Watching the journey that my cousin and his wife have been through with them is a clear demonstration of the power of love.

Like I said, I've never spent much time around kids so this whole thing is new to me but I absolutely love them and want to help them however I can. The way their unique personalities shine so brightly already it's going to be really fun to continue to watch them and get to know them as they grow up. I'm glad I'm able to help out too, the logistics of having one kid, let alone two at once is mind-boggling to me and I really don't know how people do it. I suppose once again it just goes to show that Love wins. Love is the most powerful force in the universe. If only we can all allow more love in our lives and choose to make decisions based on the expansiveness that only love can bring us.

Fear > Love

Unfortunately today for me, fear was greater than love. As I went about my day I attempted to remain conscious of how I was making my choices and I soon became aware of how often I take action out of fear. First thing this morning I realized that I tend to wake up and stress myself out immediately. I looked at the clock at 9:30 and felt guilty for still being in bed. However being aware of that I then took the time to write in my virtual journal on my phone while trying to sort through the contracting feelings within my chest before moving on to my usual morning routine.

I fell behind on my task list and still made the choice to go to Elements for some hot yoga this afternoon because I love the way yoga makes me feel. With perfect timing the instructor Lauren mentioned at the beginning of class how it's not necessary to hurry, it's important to be present and mindful. Even though I know better I always seem to be in a hurry these days, so much so that sometimes I forget to breathe. Just another reason why yoga is so good for me when I manage to get myself to go. Later as I was dripping with sweat and my mind had wandered off to other things I could be doing, she mentioned paying attention to our bodies and how often we are all afraid of looking within at how we are feeling. It's so true, I often get so caught up in the future I forget to acknowledge why I feel so constricted and then make the choice change it by shifting my focus. Fear caught me again, fear of not doing enough, but I'm the only one keeping score...

Which reminds me of the profound note from the universe I received in my inbox this morning, it said, "There is no scorekeeping Joy. Everyone lives each day for him or herself, no matter what they did. No one owes anything to anyone, no matter what happened. And from this, what I hope you most get, is that whatever you do next, you do it for the joy it brings you.  Rock on, The universe" (If you haven't heard of Mike Dooley and these notes from the universe I highly recommend googling it as soon as you finish reading this post.)

I tried to take it to heart, it sounds so wonderful and I want to believe that it's true but I still have some bad habits to break. I guess its time to step further out of my comfort zone because I'm used to doing things because I'm afraid of what will happen if I don't.  And that really sucks because fear seems to stop the feeling of joy in its tracks. I'm just going to keep trying to increase my awareness in each present moment each day until I retrain my brain that it's all ultimately going to be okay, I want to feel Joyful again. Life is supposed to feel good. We are all supposed to feel loved and be happy more often than not.

Theme Time

I was reading the book Platform again last night and decided to heed some of the advice since I really want my book launch to be a success. I've been working on my elevator pitch and last night before I went to bed my head started spinning with ideas. I wrote some of them down in the notes app but I'm uploading a hoop video to youtube right now via Videoshop on my iPhone so I can't access it at the moment since I don't have iCloud set up to sync everything. I suppose I don't need that info just yet anyway, I have to remember to do one thing at a time. I seem to always have three steps in mind at once and then I wonder why I get overwhelmed.

Today I am going to start to narrow down the focus of my blog so that my posts are relevant to my book and the message I am hoping to send out to the world. I realize I can be a bit scattered because I love variety and have so many things I'm passionate about. But I need to start building a solid foundation for actually attempting to make some sort of living off of this book that I feel will be of real value to a lot of people. It's a crazy love story with all kinds of lessons I have learned with its unfolding. 

Love Versus Fear is the title and the theme to come in the following blog posts will be about how we can choose to become more aware of how we are making choices in our day to day lives. Are we acting out of love or fear? After reading another perfectly timed blog post by Pam Grout today I think I've figured out how to do this. Her stories are always inspiring and uplifting, reminding me of the theme in her books which I always need reminding of. I think we could all use her reminders actually so I'm going to put my own spin on the same kind of thing and attempt to focus on the love. Why? Love versus Fear is a constant battle we all have to fight and I want Love to win for all of us.

Please, like if you like it, comment and share with anyone you think may enjoy what I have to say.

Thank You.