Amazing

And then sometimes I want to just be a photographer! I went out and took photos of the Start of Round the County a week ago from yesterday. Not only did I not want to freeze my butt off by doing the race, I didn’t have the time to commit to the full two-day event. Thankfully I have an awesome friend in Anacortes with a beautiful powerboat who took us out to take pictures of the start! I have missed racing in this event that I used to take part in for 10 years in a row so it was lovely to at least witness firsthand the excitement of Saturday morning. It was also a fabulous sunny day!

It recently has come to my attention multiple times that you are actually reading my diary/journal/blog/website! I have to admit I’m a little embarrassed to know that people (you included) are actually exploring my website and reading my words. Its great, don’t get me wrong, Thank You for being here and reading. However, it had always felt safe to assume that I was putting all of this into the ocean of the internet as but one tiny droplet of information and now I feel like a visible wave! How vulnerable I feel to know that you now know some of my personal innermost thoughts and feelings.

Does this mean I should stop oversharing?

I am running a business after-all but I am also my business so therefore you should know who you’re dealing with right? All my flaws and imperfections plus opinions and ideas laid out on the table for all who want to look can see. A little scary, I guess I had my head in the sand sort of when sharing here.

Now that my eyes are open maybe I shall curate my content a little bit more? Like the photo below, I probably should post the new pictures of the work that was just completed on Icon. However the perfectionist in me thinks that the images I took of the work are not good enough. There is still a lot of other work happening in and on the yacht and therefore I don’t feel appropriate sharing images yet before she is complete and clean. I have good intentions to share them later. Time flies and my intentions although good often can’t keep up with the pace of life. I’m doing the best I can.

Thanks for understanding and Thanks for reading. Time for me to get back to the sewing room!

A very old picture of me at the helm of Icon (a Perry Designed 65' Sloop cruiser/racer) on a delivery.

I used to co-manage the Icon program and was a vital member of the racing team. I love sailing and I very recently completed a bunch of canvas work for this beautiful yacht as the owner is planning on cruising her again after an almost 10 year hiatus.

Icon was for sale for a time and if I had had the money I would have purchased her in a heartbeat.

Eye Sea

Eye am not sure what to write about today...

I sea all the items on my task list and my mind wanders. Mixed emotions of love and fear surround the wishes in my imagination. The dualism prevalent in this life on spaceship earth this time has enraptured my attention. Mind versus Matter, Spirit and Body, Heart and Soul. 

I am strong, I am enough, I am worthy, I am beautiful, I am capable, I am what I am.

Wishing I was more, learning how to be, wanting to be free... 

Free from feeling like I have to make money, free from having to prove myself to myself. Free from the struggle that makes me question my worth and my abilities.

I tell myself one thing, I am strong, but before long some voice from the past reaches into my serenity claiming I am weak as I haven't done enough yet today. What did you say?

I must not listen, I know it's not me. I know me, I am strong but I fear only as strong as I choose to feel when I believe in the spirit within me. The power of my personal awareness that I am more than this human body with these eyes that I see when I look in the mirror.

Eye know I must choose love and not fear.

Eye know yet I struggle to believe.

Viral Blog?

Iceberg Lake from Chain Lakes Loop trail, Washington State, Summer 2017

Is it possible to have a blog go viral? I've heard and seen plenty of viral videos and was just thinking about that in regard to my YouTube Channel. How can I make one of my creations go viral? How does it happen? Is it just plain luck or do I need to do something completely cool, totally outrageous and get it into the right place at the right time? I really want to figure this out because I'm trying to build my platform for launching these super cool books that I have been working so hard on.  Not only that, I want to have more reasons to put more effort into making my videos better. I know I can make them way better if I spend more time on them but why bother if only a few people are going to see them?

I was just looking at the statistics on my Eleven NW youtube channel, it's not so popular these days and though I gained one subscriber this month I lost two. Now part of me knows that I need to do these things because I love them and not for any other reason. The other part of me feels like I could do more if I have some sort of ultimate goal in mind with a bigger plan.  I guess I'm looking for a purpose in my creative endeavors. I suppose I will always take way too many photos, write, run, hike, hula hoop, make videos, play music, paint, sew and share my adventures but I wish there was some more beneficial reason for not only doing and creating but for sharing them.

How do I engage an audience I don't have or even know how to get? I'm working on it with social media but it seems like I could do more. I just wonder if all it would take is one viral video, one viral blog post that could get me discovered by more people who could benefit from my quirky personality and unlimited adventures with lots of fully illustrated ways of sharing them. How does it happen? How can Joy Love and ElevenNW go viral?

Watch me. 

Please, Like, Comment, Follow, Subscribe, ReTweet, Share, RePost, and Tell your friends about this crazy woman from the Northwest who wants to bring more Joy to the world!

Totality Awesome!

I totally meant to finish this blog post and publish it over a month ago. Here it is now instead. If you've seen my YouTube channel you already know I had the opportunity to experience the total eclipse with a group of friends at Silver Falls State Park in Oregon. Honestly I didn't expect it to be nearly as amazing as it was. There was a bit of concern over all the hype in the news about crowds and traffic and there was some personal family drama before we even left Bellingham that made it even more tempting to bail on the whole trip. The VRBO place was already booked in Portland and we had financially committed to my friend who planned the trip so we went anyway. And I'm really glad that we did.

It was totality awesome! We found waterfall paradise and a deluxe place to watch the moon pass in front of the sun with a gathering of friends and beautiful strangers who had some sweet set-ups for viewing that they were happy to share with us. The sense of community was heart-warming as we all witnessed this rare occurrence. There was even a couple with their child visiting from France who had planned their trip so that they would be in the right place at the right time.  We walked around, visited with each other and made new friends, looked through other peoples telescopes with solar filters and different homemade viewers, we even played music and hula hooped as well as took lots of photos and video during this time spent in this wide open field. A field which had recently been cleared and purchased by the state to become park land which just so happened to be the best spot in the area for watching the total eclipse. Serendipitous indeed.

We are blessed to be living in such a time and place that is evolving rapidly no matter how chaotic or backwards regressing it seems at times. Think about it this way, just to be able to predict the time and place to witness the moon pass in front of the sun during broad daylight is incredible. With all the knowledge and technology we all have access to, that we not only get to drive to a far away place to see this astronomical event, but to have a vacation rental house to stay in with devices to capture and share it with the world in an instant. It is amazing and I'm grateful to be alive in this time period of life on earth. I do believe this eclipse marked the beginning of a new era so to speak. Or at least a layer of it which is hard to define and explain with the confines of conventional belief systems. Nevertheless, the collective energy feels different since the eclipse and I think it's the start of a shift in the right direction for all of humanity. The big picture is challenging to see when we are puzzle pieces that have yet to find the exact place where we fit but it is actually happening. And I do believe that soon it will all make more sense.

"Soon", now thats a whole other subject/word I've been thinking about too. Soon is defined as in or after a short time. But what is a short time? Isn't it all relative to the scale we are looking at? I thought about this because I listed on my website that my books are "coming soon", it has not happened as quick as I'd hoped for but does that mean I was wrong to list it as soon? What time frame am I looking at for completing these amazing projects I have on my list? It seems I have so much time but not enough time to make time to call it sooner than later but still soon enough in relative terms. Life's too short relatively speaking to sacrifice living life to it's fullest in the moment for short term accomplishments, right? I know, and these projects will be done soon. I promise. It's the rainy season in the northwest and I'm ready to buckle down to get my books done.  Thanks for reading my blog and for being yourselves. You are totally awesome!

Up to Eleven

A week ago I completed my second ever Olympic Distance Triathlon. In case you're unfamiliar with triathlon lingo, it means, 0.9 miles swimming, 24.8 miles of cycling followed by 6.2 miles of running. Bellingham has had the very popular Lake Padden Triathlon (shorter distance) for years but this was the first annual Lake Whatcom Triathlon. So of course I had to participate and I was even more stoked that I got to choose my bib number. I'm sure you know what number I chose, especially if you looked at the picture already too. 

Yes, there in that photo are all of my ribbons and medals from all the 5k's, 10k's, 25k, Half's & a Full Marathon, Sprint & Olympic Distance Triathlons along with my most recent Bib, #11. I don't normally care too much about race bibs but this one is special. This one has my number. I can't tell you how great it was to hear strangers and friends alike calling me Eleven during the race. People who didn't know my name saying things like, "way to go Eleven!" made me smile. Yes, I am an Eleven, my business is called Eleven northwest and my life path number is 11. I've always loved that number as it's repeatedly appeared at distinct moments throughout my lifetime. I was even sailing against a boat named "Goes to Eleven" last Thursday in Bellingham bay. What are the odds? So I'm attempting to figure out how turn the dial up all the way, cranking the volume up to Eleven. Who says we have to stop at 10?

That in itself can be interpreted in so many ways. How do I mean it you say? In all the ways. I'm striving to be the best that I can be. I want to move beyond my fears and reach for the furthest stars I can only imagine in my dreams. That's what I mean. I want to access the untapped potential and really live by my motto, "You have to believe it to see it." I'm working on the believing part, it certainly doesn't happen overnight to change 34 years worth of beliefs built from my life's experiences. But I want to believe that there's more to it and I want to choose what to believe from here forward. More and more science is proving the biology of belief, experiments in the quantum field are demonstrating the power of intention and expectations. Matter follows energy, we are the creators (albeit haphazardly most of the time) because most of us don't realize we are the source of our creations. The creations that show up as "reality" in our lives.

Most of us live our lives on autopilot. We have been trained to think that we don't have as many choices as we do on a lot of very basic levels. And there's lots of reasons for that as well, some good, some not so good, and though I hate to admit, some very very bad reasons. The point is we have to wake up to the fact that no matter how conditioned we have been, no matter where we are at in our lives, we can always choose to believe something different. We can choose to become more aware of how we are living our lives, how our auto-pilot programming is operating and if we decide we don't like the direction "auto" is taking us we can turn it off and take the helm. (Sailor speak taking over, ahem...) In other words we can decide to drive our own car instead of just being the passenger, we can take a right instead of a left more easily when we have our hands on the wheel. 

All of it starts with being present enough with ourselves to take responsibility for the lives we are living. If you're happy and life is good, great, keep going, get happier, keep making life better. But if you're not, look deep inside your home computer system and consider upgrading your software that is keeping you locked into the same box doing the same thing. And remember you always have a choice, you have a lot of choices, moment by moment, day by day. The things you think affect the way you feel which affects the way you act and the actions you take and the things you create in your life. Take a moment to really consider this. Life is full of distractions for a reason. A lot of things in life happen for a reason and we always love to prove ourselves right even when we wish we were wrong about something. I know I do, especially when I find myself creating what I don't want, like running down the trail thinking about how much it would suck to step in dog poop and then squish. Aw, shit, why was I thinking about that? Same thing different day, different thing same day... anyway.... the point is to be vigilant and focus on what we do actually want in our lives. Like completing this race in a better place than I did previously.

The first olympic triathlon I competed in I just wanted to be able to finish, so I took it relatively easy and paced myself. I've been taught, "Better safe than sorry". I finished and I wasn't even sore the next day! This triathlon, I really just wanted to finish as well, but I wanted to finish faster than I did last time so I pushed a little harder and I finished faster but I still wasn't even sore the next day. I didn't turn the dial all the way up, I played it safe again. I was still really happy with my finish time and of course I loved not getting hurt from it but I know I can do better. I know I have the potential in me to keep improving in so many ways, if only I can get past my unreasonable fear of getting hurt. If only I can push past my current comfort level, beyond the usual "better safe than sorry" conditioning. Life is about more than comfort and safety. I think often times our capacity for greatness is severely hindered by our inherent biological craving for safety. It's time to push that boundary even if only slightly and a little more each time. That's what I'm working on anyway, if it goes to eleven, I want to see what it's like to turn it up all the way.

Although I do think I'm turning it up more and more all the time, stepping beyond what I used to think was possible. Did I mention that when I went to pick up my race-packet the day before the start, an Ironwoman named Mary told another lady who was wo-manning the booth that I was going to hula hoop during the entire run portion. I'm sure the look of shock & surprise on my face was funny as I was thinking, yeah right, hooping is enough of a workout standing still. I smiled and said "that would be cool but I'm not planning on it". However the seed was planted and with little reminder/suggestion and help from my man Mark, I did hoop and run the last little bit. Apparently I had plenty left in the tank... swim, bike, run, then run while hula hooping across the finish. Uh huh, crazy right? And oh so much fun.

Life is supposed to be fun! 

Anyway, I could spend all day writing but I have a painting I want to start working on so I better get to it. Thanks for sharing this beautiful planet with me. I hope you all have a wonderful day. 

Solstice Surprise

A couple weeks ago I was in my Clairvoyance class on a Friday evening at Simply Spirit. Jill was out of town for the weekend so we had a substitute teacher. I had met Sarah Rose previously at Healing Hour on a Wednesday and was stoked to get to talk with her in this relaxed classroom setting. (She's super cool.) We were all chatting beforehand and she was telling a story about how she wanted to be in Hawaii on the Solstice but didn't know exactly how to make it happen. I got the impression that she believed that it would happen partially because she really wanted it to. As she spoke those words I felt a strange twinge in my solar plexus, not quite realizing at the time what it was. Something stuck a chord and I came to see later that I had the same desire. I wanted to be in Hawaii on the Solstice too.

Consciously I wrote it off and let it go. It didn't make any sense for me to go to Hawaii for the solstice. I don't have extra cash like that just laying around and I have so much stuff on my to-do list at home. I continued on with my projects and after paying off some credit card bills I realized I need to figure some things out fast because the amount of freedom in my bank account is shrinking rapidly. My heart sank, thinking about having to get a "real" job again made me feel all kinds of uncomfortable. I admit that there is something somewhat appealing about working for someone else and collecting a paycheck without having all the risk and responsibility of being a business owner. There's also something very unappealing about losing the power to make ones own decisions by working for someone else. I felt the stress constricting the vessels in my heart. With financial worries in the back of my mind I immediately deleted an email from HayHouse about a writers workshop with Doreen Virtue. Not only was it an extra $650 +tax for the workshop, it was in Hawaii so I would need plane tickets too. Ugh, sigh... back to checking things off my to do list.

For some reason that email stuck in my head. As I was trying to focus on getting some work done thoughts floated through my mind like "I want to meet Doreen Virtue and the CEO of HayHouse.... I want the chance to have the book I've been working on published with HayHouse. I want to go to Hawaii!" UGH. The inner desire and tension was mounting so I put it out there to the universal force, if I'm meant to go to that work shop I will get the money somehow. I searched for other signs that it was meant to be, I got all kinds of excited thinking about going. Then I got the opportunity to help out a friend of a friend doing some Canvas work. Within a short amount of time I had made the $650. It didn't just float to me, I worked my butt off for it but the timeframe and opportunity was perfect. It didn't solve my long term financial issues but it was a step in the direction of my dreams.

Now about those plane tickets... not too long ago my ex-husband reminded me about my Alaska Air mileage  account because he was still getting mail for me from them. I got the impression he hated getting any reminders of me so I called Alaska Air right away to have them change my address. That was easy but they told me I had to e-mail them proof of my name change in order to get that changed on the account. I figured I had plenty of time to do that because I was planning on using the miles later on for a trip somewhere with my Mom. We had talked about Mexico or Jamaica but it was too far out to get tickets for yet so I asked my Mom about using the miles for the workshop instead of our trip and she gave me the go ahead. Suddenly it was a rush to get my name changed so I could use the miles. A little more stress from wanting to go and still not knowing if it would work out turned into purchasing a Roundtrip ticket for a grand total of $11.20 after taxes and fees using all the miles I had accrued. I guess it was meant to be!

Quite awhile back I had also talked about going to visit my friend Jasmine who lives in Hawaii  but wrote it off because of time and cost. Just so happens that she lives near where the workshop shop is being held. She's even going to pick me up from the airport!!! I'm so excited I get to spend some time with her too. And I have decided to travel light.... no checked bags, just my backpack and my ukulele. I don't have all the details worked out for after I get there but I'm trusting in that greater force and allowing the flow of life to lead me in the right direction after I land in Tropical Paradise. I'm just looking forward to learning more about how to finish and publish my books and I'm excited to meet new people. I've been day-dreaming about drinking straight from the green coconuts and I really hope those little purple passion-fruits are ripe this time of year! 

Thank you Sarah Rose for igniting that spark of intention. Woo-hoo, I get to be in Hawaii on the Solstice too!

And Thank you to the mysterious powers that be for guiding me in this crazy lifetime. I have received so many different re-affirming signs about taking this trip that it's hard to believe I ever questioned it.

Dynamic Hands

Apparently theres a whorl in my moon... if there's any validity to what that is supposed to mean then a lot of things make even more sense. What I'm referring to is related to Palmistry otherwise known as Palm reading- the art of interpreting a persons character based on the shape and the lines in their hands. More specifically my experience last night was a type of science-based and well-researched method of interpretation from the Institute for Integrative Hand Analysis which I learned about direct from Roberta Coker of Hand Dynamics. For more in-depth information about this subject please visit Roberta's website. This 3-hour event was hosted at Simply Spirit with Jill Miller and was attended by a large group of diverse & beautiful people looking for some insight into the deeper meaning their lives.

Well, I definitely received some powerful insight into what my hands potentially represent for me as a human being with a soul mission. I would actually love to learn more about this method of interpretation and be able to use it to assist in helping people uncover some core truths about themselves. Roberta is actively teaching others how to use these techniques and is having a 3-day workshop in Vancouver, BC this weekend. I will be racing a J111 in Round The County (sailing a 36' boat as quickly as possible around the San Juan Islands) this weekend so attending that workshop is not an option for me. And not only that I have already committed to a year of Clairvoyance training with Jill which I believe with help me learn a different method for providing the same kind of insights that hand analysis/palmistry does. They both require a certain level of intuition in order to make sense of what the symbols represent. Having the life path number 11 already gives me that hyper-intuitive edge that I'm really just beginning to discover and actually trust in.

This whorl in my moon that I found out about last night is like a fingerprint on my palm. Unlike the lines on our hands which constantly change based on our life experiences, our fingerprints are unique, distinct and do not change. My lovely friend Pamela Leslie gave me a pretty profound palm reading just for fun one night many years ago and I have been paying attention to my hands ever since. I keep watching the lines shift and move on both hands, I've even decided to take a picture of them once a year on April Fools day (no kidding- it's just a good holiday to trigger a reminder), therefore I am doing my own limited research on the subject. I've always had this feeling like the palms are a type of roadmap that can tell us where we've been and how to get to where we want to go. I highly recommend learning anything you can about this intensely interesting method of self-discovery. At the same time we all must remember to trust our own intuition because we are the only ones who know ourselves best and when something doesn't resonate within us there is usually good reason for it.

However, the wisdom I received from Roberta in the quick examination of my hands in this group setting was exactly what I had hoped for. Confirmation that what I have been sensing in my inner world is for real. It's written on the palm of my hand and I have concrete evidence that I can look at when the self-doubt inevitably will knock on the door. Being aware of that means that next time I can choose not to let the self-doubt in and keep moving forward with my plans. I have written several blog posts and no matter how hard I try I can not help but bring some spiritual aspects into everything I do. I'm finally willing to accept that deeply spiritual part of myself and fearlessly let it out into the open with a solid grounded perspective (I am a Taurus after all). Ultimately I truly feel a deep sense of gratitude for everyone for we exist as mirrors for each other, reflecting lessons we could not learn any other way. It's amazing to me to see clearly the interconnectedness of it all and at some point I hope to share a vision I have for our future. We all have our unique roles to play in the grand scheme of this great gift called "life" here on planet Earth. Thank you all for existing. 

Gaining Momentum

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Doggone it! Some days are better than others but I finally feel like I'm gaining some momentum here. I'm learning how to use SquareSpace to create my website and in the process I'm beginning to redefine myself and figure out what direction my business is heading. At the same time I'm getting more familiar and finally falling in love with my Mac after being a PC person for so many years. The possibilities in this earth-realm really are infinite therefore requiring me to do a bit of soul-searching to determine my true passions and find ways to share my abilities coherently. I feel so incredibly grateful to have so many options and I appreciate having the patience while I sort it all out. I know it will all be worth it in the end, even when my threshold is pushed to the point where all I can do is sleep it off and start fresh the next day.