Wide Open Spaces
In my head everyday the songs play out as if my life is not just a movie but a musical. If you only knew...
I wish I could telepathically communicate with you right now instead of communicating with these somewhat cumbersome (and at times confusing) words tapped out with my fingertips. I have a lot going on. What time is it? It's time to take action. Does anybody really know what time it is? Does anybody really care? I care and to every thing turn, turn, turn there is season... and a time to every purpose under heaven. See I told you and not only that I need wide open spaces like the scene above to clear my head.
Hiking up the towering hunk of granite yesterday, called by "The Chief" by the locals, I was awestruck by the sheer awesomeness of the views. As we climbed from 1st Peak to 2nd Peak to 3rd we just kept getting higher and higher. Only issue was, as they say, what goes up must come down. That trail is uber magical and insanely steep, let me tell you it was most definitely the longest 6-mile round-trip hike I have ever done and worth every sweaty step. It's almost time for me to take off for line-dance class at the grange but before I go and check another item off my crazy long task list I want to tell you about my newest venture.
I was at the beach the other day with my hoops, of course and I met a guy named Joshua who just so happened to be a hooper who is super cool too! He bought a beautiful newly made hoop from me and told me about a space where I could possibly hold hoop classes for the masses. (Okay, maybe not the masses but it's a good-sized space.) I've been wanting to share my love of spinning these circles around and one thing keeps leading to another. I can only take it as a sign that I'm headed in the right direction. Who doesn't need more fun and joyfulness in their lives? I hope you all realize that I'm just a down-to earth free-spirited girl who is doing my best to do what I love while encouraging you all to do the same. I want whats best for everyone and I want to share all the love I have with you. Hooping just seems to be one way to do this.
So in order to put my best foot forward I also signed up with Deanne Love for her online Hoop Love Coach training program this morning. Actually, I was sorta getting cold feet over the whole thing. When I went to her website after getting another reminder email about the June session, I thought, hmmm.... so I clicked a button to find out the total cost thinking it would give me another chance to opt out but low and behold it said "Payment Complete" those three other steps I was expecting didn't happen and I was signed up before I could back out. Not only is it meant to be (apparently), it's an investment I'm willing to make in order to share the best of the best with all of you while supporting her mission too. I've also been told sometimes the best way to learn something is to teach it, (that's never been easy for me) so here I go. Learning and teaching simultaneously, since as you may have already gathered by looking at my site... I love to do it all and all at once.
I gotta run but Thank you for existing in my world and sharing this lifetime with me.
Back in my own person mash-up musical... I got a feeling.... because I'm happy... and I got that sunshine in my pocket... woo hoo! Music makes me wanna move cuz baby I'm worth it.
What's Up?
"...I cry sometimes when I'm lying in bed, just to get it all out what's in my head and I'm feeling a little peculiar... and so I wake in the morning and I step outside and I take a deep breath and I get real high and I scream at the top of my lungs, What's going on?" These lyrics from a 4 Non Blondes song keep rolling through my head. In fact, I even attempted to learn how to play it on the guitar and recorded my somewhat sad attempt on video. What is going on with me? I haven't written any blog posts here for awhile so I figured it was due time. As soon as I finish this post I am going to work some more on my book about sailing across the Atlantic as a way to escape my current emotional state.
As the full brunt of the Moon is waxing into a gibbous state I sense the pressure easing a bit in my skull. The water that makes up most of this body sure has had a lot of pull over my internal state of affairs as of recently. As you can possibly tell by my most recent watercolor painting (which I like best after being modified with the #prisma app). The way I was feeling came out through the brush in a mix of colorful streaks. Feeling the weight of the concrete jungle world entangled with the subtle energies of the earth with all it's inhabitants twisted with my perception in time. What is this feeling I'm lacking the talent to shake? Obscured by the clouds of my own insecurity the walls of doubt are inviting me in. What's going on?
It's springtime and the sun has been shining, except for today, today it rained, it rained so hard I thought the sky was falling. It doesn't rain that hard that often here in the northwest, usually it rains a lot but oh so gently for a long period of time. Today it just dumped down all at once. The raging rivers in the gutters created forceful waterfalls shooting out the spouts as I watched out the window during the thick of it. Thankful at the time to be indoors in a safe, warm house, able to watch the torrent from up high. I stayed in bed for a long time today and if it weren't for a call asking for a ride home from school I may not have even left the house at all.
I have so much going on inside this amazing house where I get to live. I spent most of the morning making videos to upload to my newly approved for monetization youtube channel. Finally maybe I can bring some income in from my creative love of being a shutterbug constantly capturing life in action around me. I have so many ideas and I have the time to implement them too. I'm taking steps, some small some big, some may not get me anywhere but I'm full of hope for potentials. Yet there's something nagging at me. Something beneath the surface that I can't quite put my finger on. This life, these dreams I have while I'm awake and the dreams I have at night, the vivid pictures spinning around, the shots of Deja vu that sting me with wonderment of the meaning of it all. It's got to give, this life I live, I need a reason for all this energy, for all these ideas, for all the love I feel that I want to share but feel is already misunderstood. The urge for the collective of humanity to wake up and smell the freedom right inside our own noses.
It stinks, I know, I smell it too and I just know there must be something I can do. But what?
Good Intentions
I woke up this morning, like I do a lot of mornings, with the urge to write. Unlike most mornings where I stifle the urge with distractions (like facebook) or make excuses (like "I have to finish my laundry first") this morning I grabbed my computer and I'm laying in bed with coffee attempting to write what seemed so profound to share as I was lingering in the in-between dream/waking state. It's all tied together in my head yet as I write the emotion of inspiration is fading and I wonder if more sips of coffee will be the answer. Coffee always seems to help multiple things in multiple ways after-all.
A Randy Travis song swims into my awareness as I think about the title of this post. His words have stuck with me since I was a little girl sitting on the back of the tractor while my Dad was listing to country music on the radio. "The road to hell is paved with good intentions, but... my intentions were the best." Why did that strike me and why is it in my head now? I think it's because I'm realizing fully that my good intentions are not enough. I have to back them up with action and make a very conscious effort to extend beyond lifetimes of unconscious programming. I say "lifetimes" because it's beyond just me, it's what my parents learned from their parents, who learned from their parents, who were all just doing their best (like all of us are) based on commonly accepted knowledge at respective times in history and culture. The tricky part is to stop making excuses, step out of our comfort zone, trust in ourselves and make our good intentions known.
I intend to make a difference in this world. In order to do that I have to truly step out of my comfort zone. I know I need to take risks, the biggest risk is feeling vulnerable by putting myself out there. I love so deeply, I feel so strongly, I am so passionate about so many things and what if you find out about them? Is it safe for me to share when there's so many differences of opinion out there about what I "Should" do with my life, with my time during this time on this planet? More and more I realize I just have to say Fuck it and do it anyway. (And I know that word is offensive to some people, my intention is not to offend, it's just a great word with such strong force that nothing else compares. Just think about how many other "acceptable" words people try to use in it's place to convey the same meaning, why not just use the real word?) The point being we all seem to care too much about little things (like words) that don't really matter in the big picture.
The big picture being that these lifetimes are precious, we are all valuable and there is more than enough for everyone. It's time we wake up to the fact that we are all so intimately connected and we have more power than we think. I know you've heard this theme ringing throughout my blog but I have to keep reminding myself too. I have been conditioned yet without a doubt in my heart I know this is true. There's got to be a way to get beyond that conditioning, that programming. The road to hell is only paved with good intentions if we let our intentions be driven into the ground by what we feel we "should" do because someone told us to or by just running on automatic and doing what we have always done.
It takes serious effort not to judge other people but especially not to judge ourselves. It's time to stop the judgements that make us all feel like poo. All aspects of the great spirit (God) are within each and every one of us, therefore we are not here to judge and we are not to be judged either (by ourselves or by God). We are here to learn and to express the pure and deepest desires in our hearts. We are here to breath the fresh air, swim in the water, taste the fruit, feel the love, to be inspired and to create our dreams. And the coolest part is that we all want different things and we all have different lessons to learn and different ways of doing things. So not only do we get to learn from each other, we get to work with each other with our different gifts and specialties.
It's divine, it's beautiful and sometimes it's a mess. Time to get dirty so we can clean up. I've shed more tears than I wish to share, I've been through hard times and made plenty of mistakes, some of which I'm still learning from. There's things I regret (though I try not to dwell on them) and I still judge myself harshly at times as I look at my shadow side. We all have our own demons to slay, this being human stuff is very challenging at times, but my point is, it's all worth it. For all the pain there's so much joy and beauty. Breaking beyond the fear and trusting in the process as it unfolds while becoming stronger with each experience. I have good intentions for the rest of my life and I intend to make the most of them by taking actions that are in alignment with my heart. We all have innate intuition and I'm finally starting to trust mine as well as hear/see/feel it more clearly and I hope you will too.
Anyway, enough for now, it's time for the task list, there's always chores that need to be done and I will enjoy them more knowing that I took the time to write first. Thanks for sharing this journey with me.
Shutter Bug
Mount Cheam, Agassiz British Columbia
I take a lot of photos and I want to share the best of them but the whole process of editing, organizing and uploading is where I have trouble. I love to attempt to capture the beauty that I see everywhere I go and I love looking at them later as reminders of where I have been. I just wish I had a better method for processing as well as a good outlet for them to be seen and shared and used. For now this blog will have to suffice for sharing small snippets of my shutter buggy-ness until I get the gallery on the website rolling. Amongst many of my long-term projects and good intentions I still have to get out and experience life and adventure first hand. Most of this computer stuff can wait, right?
The image above is from my most recent trip to supernatural British Columbia with my famous and beautiful friend Kamala Chambers from Thriving Launch who I've known since high school. We picked up a snowboarding hitch-hiker on our way up to Hemlock Valley resort to go Skiing for Ladies day after spending the night at Harrison Hot-Springs. When we picked Bryana up she was drenched from standing out in the rain waiting for a ride. We all hoped the mountain would be high enough that the rain would turn to snow when we arrived. Instead we skied in the rain and got very, very wet so it didn't last too long. In fact I was ready to bail before we left the slippery parking lot but Kamala was encouraging so we got our free lift tickets and braved the wetness. Fortunately, the best part of the ski-trip was making a new friend and so we offered her a ride back down the mountain. As we drove back into the lowlands the sky opened up revealing a magical landscape of ice crystals and rainbows.
When we arrived at the Abundance Farm where Bryana lives, the sounds as we stepped out of the car for a stretch were wild. Sunbeams hitting the ice coated willow trees combined with a light breeze made the landscape come alive with sounds of crackling, falling, shattering bits of frozen water. Lots of photos and videos were taken in a short amount of time and then we were back on the road headed towards home. Our entry back into the States was much easier than our entry into Canada which reminds me I need to update my Nexus Card. It was a quick and wonderful trip in some potentially hazardous weather but with my amazing AWD Toyota Highlander (aka the "Love-mobile") we plowed through snow drifts, splashed through muddy puddles and had good traction on sheets of ice making it home safely and happily. I'm looking forward to many more adventures up into Canada and beyond. Next adventure starts this weekend with Sailing around Shaw Island in the beautiful Salish Sea.
Happy 2017!
It's already the 2nd week of January, 2017 and it's been almost a month since my last blog post. Time flies when you're having fun. I had high expectations for myself last fall in regard to certain projects I wanted to have finished by now. Instead of buckling down and doing the nitty gritty work I have been saying yes to adventures and playing instead. Life is too short to work all the time right? We never know how long we have and the most important things in life aren't things. They are experiences and in that sense I feel I have not wasted a moment of my time. Maybe I set my expectations too high but I'm not disappointed in myself, I've just had to re-adjust my perspective and perceptions. The Eagle has been one of my key spirit animals assisting me on my path. Eagles are symbolic of great strength along with the ability to see the big picture and I have been blessed with many reminders by my physical encounters with them. I'm also very grateful to be aware of my connection with them and with the spirit in all that is. As I learn to give in and let go, I want to be like the water following the path of least resistance, going with the flow as I trust in the universe to continue to guide and support me along the way.
So far this year has been amazing. I've had the chance to see many of my wonderful friends I haven't seen in a long time. And I've had the freedom to choose how my days go. I feel so incredibly thankful to find myself here and now. The earth and this life is so beautiful and I keep trying to capture the beauty that I see so that I can share it with all of you. I'm constantly amazed at what I'm continuing to see and to learn every day. I'm still working on writing my books, painting and music too. I have canvas & sewing jobs in process and soon I will be using my Captains license again as I get the opportunity to take people out on sailing adventures in the amazing San Juan Islands. More information and links coming on that soon too. In the meantime, Thank you for your patience and understanding with me and with yourselves. This life is an ever unfolding adventure with many unexpected twists and turns. In the words of Bob Ross, "There are no mistakes, only happy accidents"... lets enjoy the ride as we paint the canvas's of our lives.