Tuesday

I've been a little stumped for what to write on this blog so I'm going to keep it short and simple. Today is Tuesday, I like Tuesday's-they're usually better than Monday's. Last Tuesday I had a free introductory guitar lesson at the Guitar Center. My first official session starts at 5:00pm today and I'm excited to push beyond what I already know. Ready to absorb new information and hopefully get past where I have been stuck musically for almost 11 years.

I appreciate music in all its many expressions and have craved the ability to make music myself. I've been considering going back to school for numerous reasons recently and this is just one step of many possible directions I could go. I'm not doing this for practical reasons, I'm doing it for love. For the love of music.

Leap Day

   February 29th, 2016 is the accumulation of excess time during the past four years that have to be put somewhere to keep our calendars accurate over the long-term. The rotation of the earth in relation to the sun, moon and stars is all a mathematical equation that had been calculated repeatedly and refined as observations create more data. 

Apparently eventually there will no need for a Leap year when every year will be 366 days long. That means time is actually slowing down by microseconds even though it feels as if it is speeding up. Perceptions of experience are as vast as the ever expanding universe we find our eyes witnessing in the myriad ways we pay attention. Infinite potential is ultimately defined by numbers and can be calculated and refined by sequences like the one Fibonacci brought to light. 

Which means if all of creation is a mathematical equation then it's our perception that creates the magic. How we view the sequences of numbers and manipulate them into explanations of what we see is truly a fascinating concept. Just imagine the possibility.

Beetle Juju

While walking under the clear starry skies with the newly waxing moon last night I crossed the path of this beetle and paused for a moment. Jupiter and Sirius were twinkling and the sun-lit crescent of the moon glowed orange toward the horizon with the shadow-side a luminescent perfect circle in contrast to the crisp clear indigo sky. The late winter evening air scented with Bellingham bay saltwater and fresh green buds ready to bust open and bloom with the nearness of spring time. My ever expanding awareness that this life is actually an amazing dream and I am lucky to be alive. Choosing to believe more and more each day that I am the artist painting this picture of me & my world in each moment. Appreciating the opportunity to experience life with these eyes and love with this heart in this universe on this planet we call earth that is so full of magic. All we have to do is look and we can see all the wonderful creations of nature, the divine design, including the black beetle. A living being doing his beetle thing with the full spectrum shimmering as the flash from my camera strikes his body, the protective shell on his back dotted with constellations resembling the sky above. Contemplating me from that perspective I imagine the long, sensitive antenna picking up the vibrations of my human body. Extra sensory perceptions of light and frequencies. What is our purpose dear beetle, why have our paths crossed on this lovely evening? A creature so small and often easily overlooked has left an big lasting impression on me and I wonder... How did I get to be so lucky? I feel so fortunate to be who I am and where I am in this lifetime. I feel so thankful and so grateful to be so blessed in so many ways-beyond words. I want to share, I want to inspire, I want other people to feel the joy of being alive, to believe in themselves and believe in the power we each have to paint our own pictures, to create our own realities and to share them with each other. I sometimes feel like that beetle, so small, so easily overlooked (and lucky I didn't get stepped on in the twilight), but I think, if that beetle caught my attention and made a difference in my world, then maybe, just maybe, no matter how small or insignificant (or insecure) I may feel sometimes, I can make a difference in this world.

We are all connected and I believe this is our purpose, to move beyond the pain and sadness, to get past the illusions, to stop creating things we don't want and to start to enjoy this physical reality of life to its fullest most beautiful potential.  Love is the answer. You have to believe it to see it.

Tweet

Time for a little tweet-ness to change up the standard photo + text blogging I do. Living and learning the online way of social media interconnectedness. Linking my belief system with a greater network in hopes that what I believe becomes truth. A little bird told me an agent and a publisher are looking for me. It was actually a hummingbird that kept making that tweet sound until I paid enough attention and listened to the message behind the feathered beak speak. I am thankful to that tiny beautiful creature for the reminder to write this.

To the person, people or organization that is looking for me:

Hi, I'm so happy that you have stumbled upon my blog. I'm working on improvements and hope that you will bear with me during the building phase of this creative process. I assure you it will be worth the time and effort it takes to make this relationship successful for everyone involved. I'm looking forward to establishing a contract and having a better sense of direction and more connections than I could establish on my own. I appreciate the support and knowledge that we have to offer each other. I'm truly excited to meet you and begin to our journey together. Thank you for finding me and letting me know the next step.

Sincerely,

Joy Love

Who & Why

Blogging 101: Who I am and why I'm here... I guess this will be my 11th post, I just received an e-mail letting me know my blog is now public and search engines can find me. A while ago I signed up for the Blogging 101 online course and it has just started... During SuperBowl 50- Panthers vs Broncos. I'm at house I've never been to before with a bunch people I just met sitting in a prime seat- a very comfy chair right next to the big screen and I feel a wee bit guilty using this plush space to fulfill my 1st official blog assignment. I'm still paying attention to the game and the excitement in the house is audible. Halftime show is next with Coldplay but that's not what this blog post is supposed to be about. That's just a description  of the environment I find myself in and a sign of the dedication/commitment I have made to writing. Sounds like Jell-O shots are going on in the background. Once again I must focus on the task at hand. Realizing more and more the only time I have is now if I want to do something I must not wait or put if off until later because something else is always going to be happening as well.

I am a writer searching for a pathway to express myself and share these words that I hope will convey some deep meaning I have yet to understand. More than a writer I am a woman in my 30's with a mission to understand my true sole purpose for this lifetime. The flower of life is the new icon for Coldplay which is extremely fitting as its flashing all over and is the stage for the halftime show. To explain the details of my discovery of the flower of life would be another blog post entirely but let's go with just another synchronistic moment in the flow of my life. Paradise, I'm alive again, rainbows and flowers, wow. The words of this song are so appropriate as well.

This brings me to the why I am writing this blog- to uncover & share the answers. I am seeking understanding of the obscure ways the universe works. This planet we live on is so amazingly beautiful, the experiences we can have and share, our capacity for creation, for love. "Believe in Love" was just the message in the stands at the end of the halftime show. Does anybody else see the reality that I see or is it just because of what I believe? Where do the boundaries blur and the lines cross. This is why I write. To seek and to share vision, experience and love for this human experience.

Earthquake

Suddenly shaken from my comfort zone one again my eyes are open and I write. Startled it's been two days plus one month since my last blog post. Good intentions, busy schedule and plenty of ways to distract myself. The holidays have been good and it's so close to 2016 I can almost taste it. Time flies when you're having fun.

As I lay in bed last night thinking about the past, the present and the future the door suddenly shifted open and I felt my world start to move. Ever so gently the structures I believed were solid proved to be fluid and danced as the earth quaked. 4.8 magnitude Sydney BC and no serious damage- Thank Goodness. Yet it rattled me to the core, time to re-prioritize, re-focus and keep appreciating all the details of this life for it can change (or end) in the blink of an eye.

I am grateful for this awareness and all the possibilities and opportunities as they continue to present themselves. "Today is the best F---ing day ever!"- I read on a license plate frame Christmas Day on I-405- it made me think. Living in the moment, experiencing this life on this beautiful planet with so many blessings- today really is the best fucking day ever- I am alive and the potential is limitless. I hope everyone has a fantastic experience of this thing we call life today. Thank you for being alive.

Turmoil

 

Twisted thoughts ravage the inner landscape of my mind and appear like gnarly old trees along the banks of a raging river. Tendrils of emotion fall like raindrops collected on the forest canopy cascading downward with gravitys pull. Icy cold roots reach deep into the earth searching for warmth in the form of peace.

This sensation of this turmoil is pure confusion, a lost and wandering mind caught up in a moment of uncertainty. The future looks bright and the past has already passed yet the now of here that is spins between them. A figure 8 of sorts weaving a web as it occilates around the center of okay then back to good and then to bad. Understanding, comprehending or even explaining the waves of inner disconnect seem futile. What have I done to find myself feeling this way?

Nothing is that bad yet my eyes are suddenly puffy and red. My purple shirt has wet salty droplets as I gaze out the sheer curtains at the pastel sky from the sun setting. Soon the moon will rise and the night will sparkle above with stars and below with frosty ice crystals. The day will fade away and the sun will rise again tomorrow with a new day- of this I am certain and find comfort in this. Yet I am still disconcerted with what has caused my inner world to become so turbulent and can't help but wonder how long it will last.

Maybe I just need some more sleep or does it have something to do with all those vivid dreams I had last night? Maybe I just need some more food after having eaten a lot yesterday and not enough today? Or maybe it's just something so simple it's silly I haven't figured it out yet? Maybe I just have to change my mind and the rest will follow. Life is good... really good, I'm so thankful for all the wonderful things in my life. The future holds so much potential it's truly beautiful to imagine. Maybe this emotional disturbance is the final letting go of the last bit of whatever I was holding on to from the past, the final goodbye to what was? I can only hope.

Moving on...

Pure Love

The only constant is change. Even though it can be hard to let go sometimes, with change comes opportunity and even the ability to start over. We can recreate ourselves in each moment if we choose to do so just by shifting our awareness. When we pay attention to our inner world, to our instincts and take action based on the truth we feel in our hearts absolutely anything is possible. My eyes have been opened, my mind has been set free from what I used to believe and my heart is bursting with love. I am finally listening to the wisdom that resides in the depths of my being. The universe is incredibly accommodating in showing us signs to confirm our inner knowing when we are open to its potential. I'm am eternally grateful to have discovered this amazing reality. "You have to believe it to see it."

The symbolism of this beautiful bouquet of flowers I recently received is just another confirmation of what my heart already knows. The color white suggests purity, innocence and  new beginnings while the cleansing, healing power of white is limitless. We each have the chance to start over with a blank canvas and can choose paint a new picture of our ourselves and how we want to see the world. I hit the reset button on my life and my canvas was blank only short time ago. Yet already I have started to create the most beautiful life I had never dreamed was truly an option. Listening to my heart has opened my mind and increased my awareness of who I am, who I want to be and how I want to live. As the sun's warmth is streaming through the window and brightening my world I breathe in the scent of these incredible white flowers on the table next to me. The simple actions we take in our everyday lives can mean so much to the people we interact with. These were a gift of Pure Love and I'm am so incredibly Thankful for the person who gave them to me. I wish I had the words to convey how truly blessed I feel.

Gratitude

Thank you! I am so very Thankful (Even with this terrible hangover). I'm so grateful that my body will eventually forgive me for abusing it like I did yesterday. I'm thankful for the sudden realization that this behavior is no longer necessary. I'm finished trying to numb the pain, I'm done drowning out the hurtful words and actions. I no longer accept that as reality. It's quite simple actually to remember now how it feels and know how to change. No more self-medicating, no more excuses, no more wasting time. The only constant is change. Today is a new day.

Today I am going to embody this grateful attitude. I am bursting with Gratitude. I sincerely appreciate all the magic and love I feel from this lifetime. Learning & growing & experiencing, what a fabulous time it is to be alive! I'm so happy to be me, to have so many wonderful people in my life. This universe is amazing and I want to share my Joy. Today I wish for everyone to experience the magic of feeling good, of listening to our hearts and opening our eyes to the beauty that exists when we pay attention to it. It's within our grasp in each and every moment when we believe. Thank you for opening my eyes, for believing in me, for loving me without question even when I question myself. This world is amazing, I'm so truly thankful and I hope to continue to live with gratitude for each and every moment.

Coyote Encounter

Coyote startled me when she crossed my path today, I saw her from a distance in the center of the road and she waited until I was close enough to take this picture to disappear into someone's side yard. I could have easily written this off as a chance encounter but part of me knew that was  highly unlikely. It was definetly some kind of sign but what did it mean? What was Coyote trying to tell me? She looked a little roughed up but was moving with soild purpose in the direction of cover. What was she doing in the middle of that neighborhood, in the middle of the road directly in front of me? She must have felt that it was important to take such a risk and be so exposed at that time of day. I believe that animals and their spirits are strong messengers if we pay attention to the wisdom they offer. As I delve deeper into the symbolism associated with this animal's spirit I am shocked it could be so relevant to my life in this moment. Thank you Coyote for opening my eyes today.

Luna Sea

Full Moon today... Do you sense the gravity of this situation? As Luna holds the power to move the sea, she also has a strong effect on me. Being that my human body is over 50% water it makes sense. I believe it is important to pay attention to how I feel, especially in regard to the cycles of the moon. Noticing how my inner world changes with the outer world is illuminating. Not fully understanding why I do certain things this time of the month I accept that there is a power greater than me and just have to let go. Fluidly moving into the waters of my emotions without judgement.