62 days

IMG_0848.png

Straight. Practicing French and writing a blog post every single day. I almost forgot today. How long do they say it takes to create a new habit?

I keep thinking about things I forgot to add into my Love vs Fear book proposal. I keep crossing tasks off my to do list. Time keeps flying by so fast. 

I realized too today when renewing my ElevenNW domain that I had bought I AylaJoyLove.com. Last time I looked at domain names it was taken, haha, by me. Too funny.

Thats all for now. Goodnight. 

Pillar Point

Pillar: "a person or thing regarded as reliably providing essential support for something"

Point: "the significant or essential element of what is intended or being discussed"

Today I'm going to make a pillar point and share a picture from Pillar Point County Park.

Pillar Point

Love always wins over fear but we have to make that choice. In order to make a choice between love or fear we have to be aware of our internal dialogue. Our inner space where we communicate with ourselves is often full of chaos due to physical things outside ourselves and often outside of our control.

This is where it helps to know ourselves well enough to know what we need to focus on. The things that we want to see manifest in our lives. The things that we do have control over. When we focus on the things we want to happen it helps us feel good inside. When we feel good inside we radiate it outward and it's contagious. Like attracts like. 

It takes time to remember to focus on what we want (not what we don't want) and is well worth the effort. In making the intention to choose to make choices based on the emotions of love versus fear I have realized that it takes vigilance and determination to stay on track. Remaining aware enough to realize when I switch to auto-pilot and choosing to go back to manual mode where I am the one who has the power over my feelings.

Consciously choosing to remain aware of what I am thinking in the moments as they happen. It's taking time to learn but it's working. Love is the answer because we can use it to look our fears in the face and keep moving forward.

Cold Fears

Shotofashot

Sometimes I talk myself out of doing certain activities this time of year because of the temperature. I really don't like to feel cold and I'm always afraid of the Raynaud's phenomenon flaring up during chilly outings. Once again I pushed thru my fear of the cold and we went for an evening bike ride, we were prepared with our lights to ride home in the dark. I dressed warm and it was all good on the way up hill but the cruise down almost made my fingers go numb.

My fingers didn't lose circulation and turn white either, which was great! Sometimes I think I'm winning the battle when the phenomenon doesn't occur for awhile. It's such a strange thing since there's no cure except to stay warm. Regardless I can't and I won't let it stop me from getting outside. The sunset from the interurban trail bridge over Alabama street looking towards Lummi island was gorgeous. It was totally worth feeling the freezing bits of my extremities for a short period of time. I even got a little hooping in. 

Love wins again!

Love 11:11

ganesh.jpg

I love seeing 11:11, it's a sign to me that I'm on the right path. I made more choices again today based on love rather than fear. Being more mindful is working better everyday. I slept great last night and woke up this morning excited to go take photos and run GBRC's annual Fairhaven Frosty. I did the 10K last year and chose the 5k this year so I would have more time to take pictures afterward. 

It was very wet but I dressed perfectly for it and cranked the heater in the Highlander on my way home. I love to run and it was so much fun to go to another event where I felt such a grand sense of community. My running family is growing the longer I run and it makes me so happy to be a part of something greater than I'm used to.

Social events of any kind used to really scare me, I didn't know how to handle them so I always felt awkward and uncomfortable. Now, it seems my perspective has helped changed my perception which has changed the way I feel and what I see when I participate in races. Being a photographer for GBRC too, I try to capture the joy of running in these events in order to encourage other people to run and keep running too. I know how much running has really helped me and I only hope that other people find that is the case for them as well. 

Running changed my life and though some days I really don't feel like going for a run I always feel better after I do. Being a part of a running club and having affordable races helps to keep me motivated to not only run but to keep improving my abilities. The more I run races the more I see familiar faces and I believe it helps us all feel more at home here in Bellingham. I love this city and the Pacific Northwest and all the beautiful, amazing, kind, wonderful, happy, intelligent people who share this part of the world with me. I feel very blessed to be here. 

Love > Fear

snowlove

Yay! Today, love wins the battle. Yes, fear still reared it's ugly head a few times today for me but I think I may be on to something with this specific way of paying attention. I feel good today in spite of only getting about 5 hours of sleep last night. I had a hard time falling asleep and not only woke up extra early, I got going early. I knew I had important things to do today. Like spending some time playing with my Cousin's twins

It wasn't all play, he had a work meeting to attend and had asked for the help I had volunteered previously. I have still never changed a diaper but I did a couple firsts with those adorable little boys today. Helping to feed them was kinda fun too albeit messy. Taking care of kids has always scared me for all kinds of reasons, those tiny humans are a huge responsibility for one. So I'm not sure what it is about these two specific guys but they stole my heart from the first time I met them. They were born too soon and had so much help coming into this life from so many people right from the start. Watching the journey that my cousin and his wife have been through with them is a clear demonstration of the power of love.

Like I said, I've never spent much time around kids so this whole thing is new to me but I absolutely love them and want to help them however I can. The way their unique personalities shine so brightly already it's going to be really fun to continue to watch them and get to know them as they grow up. I'm glad I'm able to help out too, the logistics of having one kid, let alone two at once is mind-boggling to me and I really don't know how people do it. I suppose once again it just goes to show that Love wins. Love is the most powerful force in the universe. If only we can all allow more love in our lives and choose to make decisions based on the expansiveness that only love can bring us.