Where is the line?


The boundary line between destiny and manifestation is obscure. As a clairvoyant I can still be in denial. There are things I know that I resist. Things I want to believe but still doubt. The best way to predict the future is to create it however it seems ones ability to create is limited by certain factors outside of ones control. There is luck involved. There is some form of greater awareness directing parts of each and every life to fulfill some sort of divine design. How? What? Why? Where is the guidebook and the rules? 

I didn't get what I was hoping for and I am doing my best to stay positive, trying to believe there is something better in store for me but what? I bit off all of my fingernails tonight. I had thought I had finally managed to stop for good, my nails were nice and long, then, within 4 minutes they were all gone. It does make it easier to type. Sigh... what am I supposed to do now? The signs keep saying one thing, my intuition keeps confirming and my brain keeps saying WTF while my ego desperately wants to knock me down and kick my ass. Honestly, I'm in a strange space...

Regardless, it's time to get to work. I have a large, beautiful upholstery project to finish and then books to finish and self-publish. I even finally listened to another song I wrote, (well, I recorded it in a moment of inspiration) and I think it's worth writing down and learning. I gotta keep moving forward. I know I am still so blessed but this not getting the book deal with Hayhouse has messed with my head. Another valuable lesson to learn I'm sure. Either way this may be the last daily blog post for awhile. I have to spend time on the projects that will provide some income so I can keep doing all these fabulous things I love.


Anyway, I'm done streaking for now. I finished all of the French Lessons on Duolingo and that means I've written 92 blog posts in the last 92 days (including the one after midnight- I wrote another that morning to make up for it.) This is quite an accomplishment I think and I know some day everything else will make more sense to me. Hindsight is something else I will have to look forward to. For now I'll end this 92nd blog post with Doreen Virtues "Angel Numbers 101" description of the number 92 because I just wrote it three times and it hit me I should look it up. Here's what it says: "As you keep the faith that everything is unfolding perfectly with your Divine life purpose, you more clearly see and understand the steps that are best for you to take."

Thanks Doreen.

I'll do my best to keep the faith.


False Alarm

I wish I had a bigger platform to stand on so I could share what I know in my heart to be true with more people and have them listen. If only for the fact that I want to live in a world where peace, love and happiness prevails. I wrote a post on facebook after midnight last night, technically I wrote it very early this morning, so I'm copying and pasting it here for my blog for today. We all have fears and we all know that love can help us overcome them.


Here's what I wrote:

I’ve been thinking about this since the false alarm that occurred recently. I was inspired to write this after a friend posted a link to a news article regarding an explanation for the major mishap. Regardless of why or how they say it happened, the fact is, that it happened. And since it happened it really made me think about how life can change so drastically in an instant based on even a supposed threat. Just imagine what it was like for all those people who received that message and acted accordingly thinking it was “real”. In that moment it completely changed their lives.

Looking at the bigger picture here I see that what’s more important is that humankind as a species comes to a point where we can eliminate the need for such a warning system altogether. The fact that we still have to worry about getting missiles fired at us is a big problem.
I believe humankind is evolved enough by now to realize that we share a very small planet.

This earth is our home, it does not have boundaries or borders. We are all dependent on the health of the ecosystem in which we live. This system is completely connected in every single way therefore we are all connected too. What we do to one thing or one person or one country effects everything on this one earth that we all depend on for life as we know it. We need each other and we need this entire planet to survive and thrive. We can no longer think about competing against each other, about fighting between countries or firing missiles at one part of the earth without realizing that we are only fighting ourselves.

Ultimately we all want the same thing but the beauty in our diversity is that we have multiple ways to get what we want and what we need. There is more than enough for all of us, we have the technology and the capabilities to solve our biggest problems if we just choose to do so. We all need to choose to do so. I have a dream where it’s one global community here on planet earth. A community that understands the importance of taking care of each other and the earth that sustains us. Humans have the potential for curing diseases, ending poverty, eliminating hunger, celebrating our cultural differences, learning from our mistakes and creating a world that is healthy for every single one of us.

We can live in peace, it is not only possible it is absolutely necessary that we choose to believe in that probability. It’s more obvious than ever that it will take all of us choosing to change our core beliefs. We must believe in the power we have to make different choices because we now realize that we have that choice. We have to choose to spread the word and to work together to make these changes happen.

The time is here for a revolution, we need to act fast before it’s not just a false alarm. We all know what would happen then. Let’s choose to focus on the power that we have to set in motion a new direction for humankind. Not everyone will jump onboard right away but with enough love and compassion it will become clear that we must take whatever steps we can to keep the shift moving toward what we want. 

Deep down we all just want to be happy and healthy, to have time to experience the beauty of this life and solve problems that make the world a better place and make our lives less challenging to survive. Once we realize that we can only be truly happy & healthy when we all are then we will work towards helping others and this earth in order to help ourselves. And right now we all need all the help we can get.


I saw a lot more eyes today so maybe I haven't gotten the full message yet. Eye Wonder...


999 also appeared repeatedly today... in fact it seemed everywhere I looked there was another sequence of those same numbers. Technically I know what it means but I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do with that information.

I guess I'll just keep moving forward with eyes open and hope the path will be revealed along the way.

Yoga was definitely good for me today, I went to Flow Motion out in Ferndale to try the Infrared Hot Yoga class and the heat felt wonderful. I'm doing my best to trust and have faith that if I keep doing the things I love everything will work out.


Love Lights

herald led.jpg

I was afraid that would happen... and it did. Silly me, I should know better than to manifest what I don't want. Nobody showed up to hoop with me last night.

The 2nd and 4th Monday of every month at 7:30pm I grab armfuls of hoops and head down to the Center for Mindful Use. I usually just wing it since it's a free offering and usually people show up to hoop. It's actually quite fun and I really enjoy the whole experience. However this is the 2nd time now that no-one showed up. 

The truth is I kinda have this nagging fear that I'm not good enough but I love it so I do it anyway. I'm working on building up my experience to shift that belief towards a more empowering outlook. With the awareness I have been steadily increasing I can see how I'm still pretty good at creating my reality haphazardly so I do my best not to take it personal. I understand full well that it takes time to enact real change. To be able to maintain a deeper level of self understanding that comes with looking at how personal programming through individual life experiences affects beliefs and thus personal tendencies. Then being vigilant while choosing consciously to change those habits.

Last night was still a success even though no one came to hoop. I had a lovely, inspiring chat with Mike Hiestand who created the beautiful space that is the Center for mindful use. Fortunately he appeared happy to have the opportunity to go home early so it worked out for both of us. He closed up and I made the most of my trip downtown by walking over to the Depot Market Square and having a nice little hoop session with my brand new red SuperHooper LED hoop. I've been wanting an LED hoop for a long time and the fact that it arrived in the mail just before my scheduled hoop class was perfect. All I wanted to do was play with it. So I did. And it was fun. It turned out to be a perfect evening anyway. 

Starting in the 2018 I will be making a more concerted effort to promote this super fun Monday night hooping option. I know how to do it, I just haven't done it yet. And on top of that, with everything else, I will continue to stay aware and focus on what I want to see happen in my life, (not what I don't want.) I want to see more people enjoying the art of hoop dance and the freedom of movement that occurs with these sacred circles. 

Fear > Love


Unfortunately today for me, fear was greater than love. As I went about my day I attempted to remain conscious of how I was making my choices and I soon became aware of how often I take action out of fear. First thing this morning I realized that I tend to wake up and stress myself out immediately. I looked at the clock at 9:30 and felt guilty for still being in bed. However being aware of that I then took the time to write in my virtual journal on my phone while trying to sort through the contracting feelings within my chest before moving on to my usual morning routine.

I fell behind on my task list and still made the choice to go to Elements for some hot yoga this afternoon because I love the way yoga makes me feel. With perfect timing the instructor Lauren mentioned at the beginning of class how it's not necessary to hurry, it's important to be present and mindful. Even though I know better I always seem to be in a hurry these days, so much so that sometimes I forget to breathe. Just another reason why yoga is so good for me when I manage to get myself to go. Later as I was dripping with sweat and my mind had wandered off to other things I could be doing, she mentioned paying attention to our bodies and how often we are all afraid of looking within at how we are feeling. It's so true, I often get so caught up in the future I forget to acknowledge why I feel so constricted and then make the choice change it by shifting my focus. Fear caught me again, fear of not doing enough, but I'm the only one keeping score...

Which reminds me of the profound note from the universe I received in my inbox this morning, it said, "There is no scorekeeping Joy. Everyone lives each day for him or herself, no matter what they did. No one owes anything to anyone, no matter what happened. And from this, what I hope you most get, is that whatever you do next, you do it for the joy it brings you.  Rock on, The universe" (If you haven't heard of Mike Dooley and these notes from the universe I highly recommend googling it as soon as you finish reading this post.)

I tried to take it to heart, it sounds so wonderful and I want to believe that it's true but I still have some bad habits to break. I guess its time to step further out of my comfort zone because I'm used to doing things because I'm afraid of what will happen if I don't.  And that really sucks because fear seems to stop the feeling of joy in its tracks. I'm just going to keep trying to increase my awareness in each present moment each day until I retrain my brain that it's all ultimately going to be okay, I want to feel Joyful again. Life is supposed to feel good. We are all supposed to feel loved and be happy more often than not.

Source: https://www.google.com/_/chrome/newtab?rlz=1C5CHFA_enUS690US690&espv=2&ie=UTF-8

Theme Time


I was reading the book Platform again last night and decided to heed some of the advice since I really want my book launch to be a success. I've been working on my elevator pitch and last night before I went to bed my head started spinning with ideas. I wrote some of them down in the notes app but I'm uploading a hoop video to youtube right now via Videoshop on my iPhone so I can't access it at the moment since I don't have iCloud set up to sync everything. I suppose I don't need that info just yet anyway, I have to remember to do one thing at a time. I seem to always have three steps in mind at once and then I wonder why I get overwhelmed.

Today I am going to start to narrow down the focus of my blog so that my posts are relevant to my book and the message I am hoping to send out to the world. I realize I can be a bit scattered because I love variety and have so many things I'm passionate about. But I need to start building a solid foundation for actually attempting to make some sort of living off of this book that I feel will be of real value to a lot of people. It's a crazy love story with all kinds of lessons I have learned with its unfolding. 

Love Versus Fear is the title and the theme to come in the following blog posts will be about how we can choose to become more aware of how we are making choices in our day to day lives. Are we acting out of love or fear? After reading another perfectly timed blog post by Pam Grout today I think I've figured out how to do this. Her stories are always inspiring and uplifting, reminding me of the theme in her books which I always need reminding of. I think we could all use her reminders actually so I'm going to put my own spin on the same kind of thing and attempt to focus on the love. Why? Love versus Fear is a constant battle we all have to fight and I want Love to win for all of us.

Please, like if you like it, comment and share with anyone you think may enjoy what I have to say.

Thank You. 

Source: https://www.google.com/_/chrome/newtab?rlz=1C5CHFA_enUS690US690&espv=2&ie=UTF-8