As I fall asleep tonight I will be saying many prayers, one of which I believe may be vital to the future I wish to create. I’ve already asked the powers that Be to help me believe it so I can see it. I pray for an olive branch, a big sign to inspire to me to keep writing, a clear pathway to illuminate this spiritual mission I’ve embarked upon in this life time.  All I need to see is the next few steps, I’ve been waiting, trying not to hold my breath. Tomorrow is the day HayHouse will announce the chosen ones for the Maui writers workshop and I pray I am one. 

Part of my loyal and creative nature loves inspiration that comes from helping people. I find the most joy in doing endevours that use my natural talents knowing they will directly benefit other people. I enjoy my independence and just being me as well so please understand I’m not looking to be a people pleaser or searching for validation. I seek to truly help in ways that come naturally to me, like writing, to benefit a greater cause or give me a direction to channel my creative efforts. I admit it, I need help too.

I’m doing my best, however the fear is lurking near and  potential disappointment is begging for me to give it some attention. I’d love to say I’ve mastered my mind but I’m scared to find out if my dreams are about to come true or not. It’s a rollercoaster of mixed emotions and I’m doing my best to ride the waves and pray that my wishes are fullfilled. 


I am totally psychic and totally relieved. I won’t go into all the details but knowing my clairvoyance training is paying off in all kinds of strange beneficial ways is fantastic. I’m relieved because I didn’t make the call back list for the play. Whew. It’s funny to think something like this would have possibly destroyed my self-confidence not too long ago. Instead I feel great, I got an interesting community theater auditioning experience. I have so many projects to finish it would have been silly to get a part in a play even if I really wanted it. It was a good experience no doubt but things work out for a reason and there are plenty of wonderful reasons you won’t be seeing me in “Scapino!” 

Red Dress

Photo by  Ali Penko

Photo by Ali Penko

It's later so now I'll tell you why I said the red dress will have a heck of a story to tell. "The Joanie Johnny Show, that's all you need to know... we may have a 1960's sound but we're the baddest damn band around"... just a few lyrics from one of the songs explains a lot.

We all have big dreams but often times we not only have no idea how to make them happen, we are afraid to take steps toward them.

Fear often prevents us from stepping out of our comfort zone to reach for the sky because we are afraid we may fall and get hurt. I have plenty of fear but I'm not going to let it stop me anymore. 

Since I was a little girl I loved to sing and dance however I was extremely shy. Experiences in my childhood as well as being an empath provided me with a grand set of challenges I'm only beginning to finally overcome. I never thought I was good enough and sometimes I still wonder if I am but I'm doing it for the love of it. I've always loved music and movement so I'm throwing out the perfect pictures in my mind that have prevented me from doing what I love in the past.

I'm not perfect nor will I ever be anything other than perfectly imperfect me. I'm finally willing to take the risk of being myself and showing my imperfections to all as I sing and dance my heart out. Life is too short to worry about what other people will think of the real me who's been dying to get up on stage and make the world smile. Spreading the joy I feel inside is all I really wanna do. I want to world to be happy and this is one way I can see of making that possible. Happiness is contagious so if I keep smiling others will smile too. 

And I'm so thankful to have the opportunity to be a part of the Joanie and Johnny Show. The music is all original and it's incredibly fun. The band has a fantastic attitude as a whole and we all have common dreams and goals. Joanie and Johnny are an adorable couple and very talented individuals as well as just plain fun human beings. I absolutely love Meshe who is my companion back-up singer and dancer as well as an extremely talented person. James the drummer and Stephen the guitarist are totally cool too. It's awesome to be a part of this group and we have big plans for the future. This is your inside scoop because this band is up & coming... its been kept a secret for good reason until now.

The time is almost here for us to break out on the scene if you know what I mean. ;)

Well... Played

Or played out? Actually it was an audition tonight to be in a play. What on earth am I thinking? I have so much stuff to do already. What if they give me a part? Acting is something I've always wanted to explore and auditioning was fun but my to-do list is long enough. Especially when I get that book contract from HayHouse in 4 days. (Fingers still crossed) I suppose I just focus on how much I love doing all the things I'm doing instead of being afraid that I won't have enough time for it all. Time is on my side.... oh yes it is... sorry song again. Life is still a musical in my head.

I'm almost done with all of the lesson categories in the Duolingo French app so maybe that will free up some time... end that streak and start a new one? I've been thinking about setting aside time every day to finish writing my books instead of blogging too. I"m almost done with the tree portal mural and other projects are well along. I just gotta stay focused on the love and keep moving forward, one day at a time.  I am thankful. So thankful for my life.

Just dreaming of that high mountain air again... spring is coming soon. 

Just dreaming of that high mountain air again... spring is coming soon. 


I almost dropped the ball on writing today and I definetly dropped my phone. I went for a run at Lake Padden and after 5 miles with wet hands back at the car it slipped. I thought it was a goner but it seems to be working alright somehow. It was wet and the screen is quite cracked. I managed to find some easy release sticker backing tape and made a makeshift cover to prevent the glass shards from making their way into my fingers while I type. Sigh... so what to do next... I attempted to file an insurance claim but I’m considering upgrading and keeping this for back up instead. And not getting insurance on my next phone.

Dress Tells

I admit it, in a pinch I ordered a dress from Amazon. I looked other places local first without success. Well, there was one dress but it was $200 so it wasn’t really an option for me. Amazon prime had a one day shipping option which was perfect because I was running out of time to find something. The Dresstells 1950’s style dress I ordered is awesome... way better than I expected. They say every dress tells a story, I’m sure this dress already has one heck of a story and it’s only going to get better after tonight. I’ll tell you why later. 

Back on the Mac

Look at the pure Joy in her face! That's what I love most about Hoop Dancing. Image taken tonight at the Center for Mindful use, Hoop Dance every Thursday at 5:55pm.

Look at the pure Joy in her face! That's what I love most about Hoop Dancing. Image taken tonight at the Center for Mindful use, Hoop Dance every Thursday at 5:55pm.

I've been posting from my phone which is why there haven't been any photos with my posts. I still can't figure out how to get it to work. I also took photos with my old iphone5 tonight and just realized it doesn't know how to airdrop. I use airdrop all the time, I love that someone invented something that moves things thru thin air. The little things in this life can be so mind-boggling, who on earth came up with that idea and then who made it happen as well as available for all of us to use. Whoever you are, THANK YOU!

Now time to go to bed... it's been another busy, productive and fun day. 

Blue Moon

It happens once in a blue moon... so they say. I lost my solid writing streak today. It’s after midnight and for some reason I thought I wrote a blog post but decided to check just now to discover that I didn’t. Where was my mind? Eclipsed by the energies of subtlety and distracted by future possibilities.

Yes, I have had many levels of awareness and stages of attention. It’s late and I need to be asleep. How could I miss it? I wrote it in my head... this morning I suppose. It was about waking up after dreaming that I woke up in the dream explaining that I was snuggling with an elephant. Such deep love and understanding I felt with this massive creature who could have crushed me with the weight of one leg but it the dream it was so real, so amazing the awareness of this animal who was my friend and slept next to me.

The lines are blurry between dreams and waking life at times I have to admit. My conscious logical brain knows the difference but my heart can’t tell. The emotions feel so real. Dreaming awake with awareness or asleep and dreaming subconsciously. Truly amazing to me how this life works.

The fact that we don’t really know how it works. The infinite mystery that won’t ever be put into words as we know them. Glimpses are fleeting feelings of Grand magnificence. We are magical mysterious beings who often take so much for granted. We disconnect, distract, derail, desensitized to the wonders of our potential. Once in a blue moon, eclipsed.

Crazy 8’s

I’ve been seeing 8888 and all kinds of repeating 8’s. According to some numerology and angel number  experts seeing 8’s is an auspicious sign of complete financial support from the universe. I really hope that’s true. I’m doing my best not to focus on the physical so much and keep the faith that it will work out somehow. It seems I have ambitious goals for this lifetime and I will gratefully take all the help I can get. I really just want to help the world be a happier healthier place. 

Pitch Perfect

I’m not perfect but there are a couple pitches I’ve been working on. One is my book, Love vs Fear so I’m telling more people about it and every time they ask what it’s about my response gets refined. It’s making more and more sense why I’m working on this book and why I want to share it with the world with every interaction. 

The other pitch is vocal, we had a rehearsal for the upcoming show today. I love making music but what I love more is the singing and dancing that goes along with it. It was so much fun to harmonize with everyone and I’m so excited to perform again on Friday. I want to do more of this and get better at it. Practice makes perfect and what’s better than practicing things you love to do? Ah, life, such a strangely beautiful thing.